The Crazy Suburban Mom: Stop it!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Stop it!

I've felt gigantic my entire life.  My mother and sister were/are very petite, thin people, and me?  I was taller then my mother by the time I was nine and reached 5' 9" by high school.  And I had a weight problem.

There was, and still is, an emotional eating component as well as a body image issue.  Objectively there were times I was not overweight, and times I was very thin - too thin - but I never got past feeling abnormally large. Period.  I constantly compared my size to my mother who was 5' 3" and at her heaviest, 105 pounds.  I was an inch taller and 13 pounds heavier then that by age 12.

Plus at 5'9" I am truly taller then most women so even when I wasn't directly comparing myself, or comparing myself at all, the message that I am too big was there. 

Women's clothing sizes and options are crazy making.  You can be overweight and find clothes or tall and find clothes but you can't be overweight and tall and find clothes easily.   Pants are ALWAYS too short, sleeves  never quite right and a Maxi is never maxi enough..  

I spent most of my life dieting and comparing;  I'm exhausted .... 

 “Fighting external monsters is easy in comparison
 to how we fight those within us.” ― Jeffrey Fry

Recently, I had a convoluted dream that at it's core was a message, "You are doing this to yourself, stop it." 

Could it be as simple as stop it?  


10 Comments:

Debralyn 6/5/14, 10:43 AM  

There is a great Bob Newhart skit on you tube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw&feature=kp

Morag 6/5/14, 10:53 AM  

I tell myself to 'stop it' every day as I am keeping myself from reaching my target weight. I have no idea why I sabotage my own efforts to lose weight but I need to stop.

Alondra Karwoski 6/5/14, 11:05 AM  

Dear, just eat healthy and exercise every now and then. I know it's easier said than done, but love your body. Don't care what everyone else says .. not even your own thoughts. You are lovely just the way you are and if you are healthy and have energy to do awesome things all day then that's all that matters!

Tracy Reinhardt 6/5/14, 12:06 PM  

Morag - I so know what you mean.

Debralyn - off to watch!

Alondra - Thank you so much for this, you'll never know how much hearing this means - perhaps if that is the message I got earlier this wouldn't be an issue -but sometimes mothers can be hard on daughters - very hard. And yes, you're absolutely right and I have started... I have walked an hour a day for the last three days -- at home. Things I'd normally sit to do I get up instead and walk in place - usually by dinner time I've walked an hour. I know that will make a huge difference ...and oddly I have MORE energy than I did just sitting. Thanks for this comment -- thank you very much
Tracy

Plannergirl93 6/5/14, 1:04 PM  

OMG! This is my life! I was 5'9" as a freshman in high school. I'm overweight now and it's VERY hard to find clothing,,,,,even at my thinnest I feel like a giant. Sigh. Yes, I do think we should just stop it!

Clareio 6/5/14, 2:11 PM  

I know this feeling all too well. i'm 5ft11. Fortunately one of my best (female) friends is 6ft1 so i don't mind as much when im with her! But im also 205lb so i know i need to lose weight (and am doing, im down 18lb this year) But ive always felt out of proportion and big even when i was a lot smaller, i still felt noticeable

Clareio 6/5/14, 2:11 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Homemakersdaily.com 6/5/14, 4:11 PM  

I know what you mean. About 10 years ago I lost 86 pounds by going to WW. The thing I loved the most? Not shopping. Not feeling better. The thing I loved the most was feeling NORMAL. No longer did I feel like everyone was looking at me when I walked into a room. Or that people thought I was fat. I just blended in and I thought it was awesome!

I've gained a lot of that weight back (but not all) and I definitely do not feel normal anymore. I miss it.

I don't know if the answer could be that simple but it would be nice if it was. I'll have to think on that.

Tracy Reinhardt 6/5/14, 8:52 PM  

Plannergirl - I don't know if I should be relieved I'm not along or sad you feel the same way.... Its so hard to be tall it really really is - people do not get it. Even buying a simple pair of pants is a pain in the ass... oh and my shoe size is a 10.. I mean, really? That too?

Tracy Reinhardt 6/5/14, 8:54 PM  

Homemakers - Yes. Exactly... I don't think the answer is exactly that simple but it might be close -I'm thinking about it too...

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