The Crazy Suburban Mom: Leaving the anchor alone

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Leaving the anchor alone

I'm (very nearly) not sick anymore.  Finally.   Meds are done, cold sores are healing and my cough is only an occasional reminder of the last few icky weeks.

Out of necessity and boredom I changed my organizer three times last week; Ordning & Reda to Malden A5.... And back.  Eventually ending up in my Portland Grand.   It's for the best  but I feel so unsettled.

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. ~ Arnold Bennett 

  Maybe it's  my life right now that's getting to me.   Besides not feeling well for oh... ever, the last month or so was difficult; I lost Ginger in August and Ventura is still not himself, Ben left for college a few weeks ago, I started weight watchers and there's a few major home projects going on (new flooring to be installed in four areas tomorrow).

I've had to move things out of the install areas to free space for the installers, leaving my house feeling chaotic and looking disheveled.

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. ~ Charles Darwin 

 Come Saturday that part will be done but then I'll have to de-pile my life.   I didn't organize the things I moved as much as pile it all up.  And I really don't want to put everything back, the  clear spaces are like a cool, fresh breeze blowing through my life.

( And I still need to tackle  my bedroom, both flooring and furniture within the next month.)

Changing my planner during all this upheaval was a really bad idea.  Switching around always leaves me feeling off somehow but when there are major changes going on it's much worse.

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. ~ Winston Churchill

I'm trying hard to see the positives (hence, the quotes....) but it's difficult.   My binder  is my  anchor; it keeps my life from drifting into deep water.  It keeps me on track and on task, it stores all the little bits I can't remember. With it I move forward, without it I'm in in deep water surrounded by sharks and have no idea how I got there.  Nor do I have a breadcrumb trail to get home.

It doesn't always work out perfectly, some days are two steps forward and one step back, but as long as the trend is going in the right direction I'm better for it.   Every turn of the page brings me closer to where I want to be... theoretically.

I'm going to finish out this year in the binder I'm in.  If I want to switch on January first, so be it, but for now I want to leave the anchor alone and let it do it's job.

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. ~ Ellen Glasgow 

2 Comments:

Vonlipi 9/19/13, 10:06 PM  

Oh Tracy, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Ginger is such a beautiful soul. just thinking that she's gone makes me sad.

I looked at so many pictures of her, I feel she's family.

Give a big hug to Ventura, he lost a dear friend.

Take care and good luck in your new ventures (Filofax or otherwise)

Susan Mac 9/20/13, 11:08 AM  

I am so sorry to hear about Ginger; just because you know it's coming doesn't make it easier and words cannot help. I hope you and Ventura are as okay as possible.

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