The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2011-06-12

Friday, June 17, 2011

Making peace with the great apple juice famine of my youth

You know, dieting is about food, but not all about food.  Since starting Nutrisystem  I took a personal inventory and found  I've assessed quite a lot of blame for the size of my backside.

The introspection idea seemed sound until it deteriorated into a wah-wah session about my mother only bringing home orange juice for my [skinny] sister and never apple juice like I wanted.

My theory?

The Great Apple Juice Famine of my youth was a plot carried out over many years by my mother to keep me from drinking any; apple juice being the primary reason women have closets full of clothes they can't fit into.


This was a personal inventory turning point.  Now.  That isn't to say my convoluted, windy road to overweight, wasn't dotted by a crossing guard named mommy in many, many (Many) places but, Tracy. Man up, already. She died nineteen years ago, put on your big girl panties and put down the Cheetos.

It is very easy to assess blame in places that don't sting.  It's easy to blame my mother; not so easy to blame a few things about me that I've not wanted to address (i.e. I hate to exercise).

I have a metaphor about assessing blame in the wrong direction.  Every car keying case on Judge Judy is the same; there's a Girl, a Cheater and a Cheatee.

The case:  Girl  gets hold of Cheater's cell and finds out about the hook-up, keys Cheatees car, and VoilĂ ! Thanks to the magic of television Cheatee sues Girl while I'm doing laundry. There's a big hoopla of of emotion but it can be summed up with one visual.


The case always ends the same. Judge Judy makes Girl  pay and gives her a  loud life lesson, Why are you mad at her, she owes you NOTHING.  He's the one who had a commitment to you. 

And she's right, you know.  Girl has a relationship with Cheater but it's so much easier to be mad at Cheatee, or in my case Cheetos...  And my mother.

I just took a big girl pill. I need a pedometer. 

I'm going  to get  to 10,000 steps a day but the one I just took was the biggest.

If want to want to lose weight and get healthy on Nutrisystem click the picture of last night's dinner below.
Glazed Chicken and Green Beans, my favorite meal so far....

Or call 1-888-853-4689

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* This post is sponsored by the letter B, G and P for Big, Girl  and Pill.  Nutrisystem is providing me with the food and program materials in exchange for blogging.* 


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Pavlov's Cleaning Lady - Day 2, Hidden Dirt Spot

I've heard a lot of people say, I know my house looks a mess; but it's clean.  Granted anyone saying that has a house that looks a fright.

I've always taken that at face value and I got the point because I've wanted to say that myself;  okay, have said that.  It's damage control.  When the doorbell rings there's just so much time you have before the unannounced guest sees your life laid out before them in no particular order.

A couple o' few years back I went into a full body clench at doorbells.

My a-ha moment was at a movie ( I think it was Notting Hill ).   When a doorbell rang (in the movie). I jumped about ten feet, popcorn flying in all directions, because OMGuests!  Clean The....  Living Room?

I saw the movie again because realizing I was Pavlov's Cleaning Lady was a lot to take in.   Slowly I've been working on the house, oh and me.

In my continuing effort I'm working on the little unseen things this week...

I was looking at my desk this morning...


And wondered what was behind the blinds, I never open them.


Ah!  The Wii-motes were under the blinds behind the desk hidden by the monitor.  Of course.  


And dirt.

Lots of dirt and a button.  And two odd silicon rubbery things that I'm picking up with a tissue.

Got any hidden dirt spots you want to check in on?  You never know...  The Wii-motes could turn up.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I give you the hidden dirt spot of the day and Ginger gave me worse.

As of yesterday afternoon, I'm two blinds closer to the master bath being done.

bathroom blinds

The best part is they are a standard size (Read: cheap).  But the really best-best part is they are top-down-bottom-up so I can have beaucoups of light while dancing around in my underpants to Lady Gaga without scarring the kids next door. 

Which the kids next door probably consider the best-best-best part.

I have similar shades by my front door which were not standard size and about a ventikajillion dollars despite being  six inches wide.  A few minutes ago I was looking at them - Being just inside from a walk with Ginger and trying hard to think of anything but that walk...


The moral of the walk:  No matter how much you don't think you need a doody bag, you do.

So I was looking at the shades and yep, still love them but having my camera and all...

front blinds

I clicked the top.

front door blinds

I think I may do a hidden dirt spot of the day.  Something that will take about - Mmmm, I dunno, less then ten minutes to clean?  What do you think?

 Where's Waldo only with dirt.


Monday, June 13, 2011

Random Monday Moments, Ginger, Burger King, Midori Travelers Notebook

I have some random topics today, none of which are a whole post so I'm putting them all together.

1.  Ginger is very upset because she can't go out by herself anymore.

Over the week-end I had my hand on the backdoor, ready to let her out and this was back there:

Now.  I get that the snarling beast appears to be the size of a rice krispy and why I chose to film the Hell Spawn instead of doing a close up, Ugh.  I'm smacking myself over it.  I can only tell you everyone I ask says, fox - When I ask, Is that a coyote or a fox?  

And then I say, but is a fox the size of a small German Shepard?  And they say, uhhhh, let me see that again.  So they look and the second time they aren't so sure.

All I know is that four-footed sasquatchean devil beast was eating it's kill (a squirrel almost the size of Ginger ) leisurely while I filmed him and was in no major rush to move.

When I called the housing association to tell them, Warn all cat owners and parent's of small children! They said, yeah we know, have you the bear yet? So yeah.  Unsettling weekend all around concerning New Jersey wildlife which is apparently robust.

2.  My Midori Traveler's Notebook 

The experiment to see if it's going to work well for me is going really well.

midori travelers notebook

I love the way it looks.

Midori travelers notebook  - second set of stickers

It holds a ton of stuff and since I rarely leave the house I've absconded with all my son's California travel memorabilia to make it look like I do.  It's probably pathetic but it works for me.

Midori Travelers Notebook - zip top

I love the photo of Ben and Chelsey sitting on the toilets before they were hauled away.  And yes, he's holding a walking stick and got a Sherlock Holmes pipe.  

Midori Travelers Notebook Inserts

Did you know I have Barbie checks?   I enjoy them quite a lot but I've had plumbers a little freaked out by them...

travelers notebook

The year on one page calendar may just be perfection for me.

Midori Travelers Notbook, inserts

You can get these mail order or online at Maido.

I was walking by a Burger King this weekend, man I love the way they smell outside, all beefy and flame broily but then I thought of something and skidded to beefy halt. Just a cotton broiling minute here....  

I don't do fast food all the much but I haven't had a burger there that wasn't MICROWAVED in - decades?  What smell are they blowing out there pipes to get people in because 1) It's working and 2) I'd like to buy some of that smell for perfume and 3) It is not coming from those limp microwave burgers and 4) since when is a nuked burger my way because that is still their slogan.... And FYI BK a nuked anything is not 'my way'... 

Is there some Flame Broiled Incense I know not of?  


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Happy Birthday, Ben!

Peek-a-boo, honey!


I couldn't let today pass without saying Happy Birthday, Ben!  


Don't ever doubt the importance of humor in life.  As the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein said,  "A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. "

And he's no slouch; he wrote a book, considered by many, to be the most important philosophical work of the 20th century. 

 It's on it's way honey, it's just didn't come in time.

Love, Nonnie

P.S. There is another book that did make it here.  Hope you like it.



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