The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2011-05-15

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Well, shoot

In the summer when my family goes down the shore (For all you outside New Jersey I'll translate: The beach) I stay home and do  random house stuff.  One year I faux-finished three rooms, another I moved some downstairs furniture upstairs and visa versa.

I'm not as strong as that sounds; moving furniture is my adrenaline boost.  It must be like when people lift cars off a loved one....

Only with sofas.

Coincidentally the year of the big furniture switch was the year I herniated a disk. Oh what a time we had.

Now, normally I do all that stuff but not this time.  My families been away for over a week and I've done next to nothing except cough, hack and wheeze.

I also whined and complained a lot but there was no one to hear me. So it's really a like the philosophical riddle, If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one to hear it, does it make a sound.... Because if I'm whining and complaining and there's no one to hear me, am I annoying?

Well, no actually I'm not.  

The timeline was everyone  left at 6:15 am on the eleventh and I woke up sick about 6:20. They missed it by five minutes.

As an interesting aside:  If a loved one leaves a plastic a bag of, oh.  I don't know.   Say their medicine, for arguments sake, on the stairs and they, for example, are on a - Uh - A plane heading for California well, just so you know if it ever comes up it costs $80 to overnight a bag teeny tiny bottles weighing very little to a hotel across the country.

So I grabbed up the pills and wheezed on over so one of those mailbox places to get them on their way and then headed to my Doctor for a tune-up.  

Six prescriptions and ten days later I'm much better but I feel like I accomplished nothing.  Which I hate.  I mean, I vacuumed this morning.  Changed the linens.  Oh and did a little laundry but that is it.

Feel like I wasted the whole week.  Well, shoot.


Friday, May 20, 2011

First offical Nutrisystem update with associated cleavage report

*This is a Nutrisystem update brought to you by my shrinking back fat*

Now that the whole saga of how I joined Nutrisystem is out of the way let's get to the business of how it's going.  The exact plan I am on is from QVC and if you want to check it out, the link is here

I got a lot of comments and emails about cost so let me say I needed to do this and  planned for it by putting money aside.  I've saved up for lots of things before; shoes, purses, vacations and those two new toilets I just installed.  It was time to save (up for) me.   

I put whatever aside I could and planned to join when I had enough. About a month ago I was channel surfing and  QVC had a Nutrisystem Today's Special Value with a price tag that was spectacular. I'd really wanted to order through the Nutrisystem site because I think the benefits of doing so are better but I was a price weenie.

 I fretted and kvetched  (a little) before ordering because I wasn't there with the savings yet but really, why should I live a second more or unhappily ever after grousing about the state of my arm flappage? Realistically, I'm able to cover two (maybe three) months. But (and this is a big but)  if that's all I can do there are benefits to losing small amounts of weight.

According to WebMD, losing 5%-10% of your body weight can help you lower blood pressure, reduce LDL (the boo-hiss kind of) cholesterol, improve glucose tolerance, and overall lower your risk for cardiovascular disease.

And I'm sure WebMD meant to include,  losing any weight helps with that grunting primate-like affair  required to zip too small jeans over a too large backside, they just forgot.

My plan provides food during the week and I'm on my own for weekends which, I admit is a bit unnerving but there is lots of support on the main Nutrisystem website (and Facebook) in the form of hints, tips and general camaraderie.  

I've come up with a few  things that help me personally like saving food containers to use on weekends.  I eat meals in them to keep portions size in check.

So.  So far I've lost ten pounds. Count with me, one... two... three.... four... five..... six.... seven... eight.... nine....  TEN! Pounds! Plus I just checked and I've lost 8 inches too.


Diet? Cartoon


The eight inches was not boobage.  The girls are happy and all associated cleavage is intact.

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The cartoon is mine, please ask permission to use it.  Karma's can pack quite a wallop.


Thursday, May 19, 2011


 I had so many errands today I combined all that gas guzzling with shopping at places I don't get to often because the price of gas offsets any SCORES! I might find.

I went to a thrift store I've missed very much and found two things; one I needed and one I had to have.

blue heaven pattern

This here is a Blue Heaven Fire King bowl  that I all but tackled on sight. That was the had to have or I'll die. SWEAR, I will.

And it was totally worth cleaning up the doody on the floor when I got home.


Left by someone who shall remain nameless.

I didn't show the whole bowl because I need to really clean it; looks like it's been living under the family mule these last fore score and twenty. 

The other thing, funny story.  Last week I decided I needed a crumb sweeper for my new dining room table because I keep a table cloth on it.  And wow, if I didn't find a Fuller Brush one from the 1950's ...Maybe the 60's, not sure.

I don't have a picture of that either because it's soaking.  Looks like it belonged to the same bemuled family that owned the fire king. 

Plus I was close to Wal-Mart. and about six months ago I found maybe eight or nine shirts on clearance for two and three dollars - Thought perhaps I could replicate that.  I didn't get nine but I did get five which was still Fabuthriftingtabulous.

I'm off  de-schmutz my bargains and don a new shirt!


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ginger gives Pedigree 4 paws and a tail up

Last night Ginger and I were watching TV in bed and having a philosophical discussion about free will versus determinism.

ginger and me 

We both made some valid points and then, I don't know... She starts in on Heisenberg's uncertainty principle (YES! AGAIN!) 

Pul-eeeze, Ginger! Not that old chestnut again.....  

 The next thing I know Ginger's dew claws are all in a bunch and she resorts to, Talk to the paw.  I take a header to the foot of the bed so I can get all up in her face, er snout..

But her breath stops me flat...

Close up Ginger 

Friend girl, do you have any idea how much better your breath is?

I hadn't thought about it till just then but her breath has been down-right fairly agreeable lately.  And in case 'fairly agreeable' doesn't sound impressive to you, it's the heaven's opening up and Angel's singing 'Ahhhh' compared to what it used to be... 

The only recent change is her switch to Pedigree Dog Food.  It's been a positive change in so many  ways but her breath was not something I expected improvement in so she's staying on Pedigree.  Her teeth are a major issue. 

Ginger's no spring chicken.  The vet has her down as age 16 (but it could even be 18 which would make her the anti-springchicken) and he doesn't want to knock her out to clean her teeth so she gets 'pulse antibiotic therapy.' The first few days every month she gets meds to keep the bacteria growth down.  Maybe if her teeth continue to improve she can stop the antibiotics all together. 

Ginger's time as an Ambassador for Pedigree is coming to a close and it's been great for her.  She's gone from a total homemade diet that she was not tolerating to almost entirely Pedigree.  She eats only Pedigree in the morning and in the evening I add a little cottage cheese. 

When I started Pedigree she was a week into an impressive bout of diarrhea (Think: tsunami).  Ginger's doody is just dazzling now (as doodies go).  

I went back and read my original post where I mentioned she needs a bath and looks flaky.  I just looked again; she still needs a bath but the flakes are way down. I wonder if I had given her a bath would the flakes be gone; know what I mean?  Is this just residual flakage from the old batch?

Feeding Ginger Pedigree Dog Food has been a total positive experience; from Ginger's improvement in so many areas to the fact that the bag is resealable. It's all been great.

 Ginger gives Pedigree 4 paws and a tail up!

Dear Pedigree,

Thank you so much for choosing me. Before I tried Pedigree Small Breed I was a bit of a mess at both ends. Now my teeth look cleaner and smell better and I have doody that would make a puppy jealous. 

And you can't beat good doody with a stick.  (Ask Dr. Oz)

I you,

ginger napping 


I wrote this review while participating in an Ambassador campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Pedigree and received dog food to facilitate my reviews and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate. 


Monday, May 16, 2011

Nutrisystem story brought to the present

* This post is sponsored by a particularly impressive stretch mark that runs like the mighty Mississippi down one thigh and it's largest tributary that meanders across my trunk junk.*

*These are the prior parts       (Part 1)   (Part2) ( Part 3 )  (Part 4) *

After this installment I will be in my present day Nutrisystem  program and yes I know the story's  been a bit convoluted. (Sorry 'bout that)  I first went on the plan in my twenties and the resulting weight loss stayed off until my pregnancy some years later.

Being that my son is nineteen, it's time to get the baby weight off...

I left off at being post-op hemorrhoid surgery and having to leave the program for more fibrous pastures.  I was scared to death to leave; what was going to happen to my 40 pound loss?

While I was doing the program some people... Oh, those people used to drive me nuts.  What party-poopers they were. They couldn't wait to rain on my skinny parade and tell me I was going to gain it all back.  Or I wasn't learning how to eat and if I wanted to lose I should be going to a program where I was making, not opening, my food.  Or something else obnoxious.   

Plus people told me every story about every  diet failure they've every known,  this one included.  And the second I was no longer on Nutrisystem I was going to blow up like the blueberry girl in Willie Wonka.  Well okay - Not everyone told me that, but one person found that to be sound - Nay. Helpful advice. 

I don't know why people do what they do,  I can only tell you they were wrong.

The turning point mentally was when a friend brought me a meal in the hospital - post op.  A giant greasy Chinese take out buffet with lo mein, fried rice and many other crispy bites that I'd not contemplated eating in months.

I plated some up, excited,   but when I started eating it wasn't the party I was expecting.  I didn't get the same ohh là là I used to, in fact I wasn't feeling all that well.  It wasn't guilt.  It was nausea and I pushed my binge away.
I had to stop eating Nutrisystem food but the core of the program remained.  The things I'd learned about portion control and the lessons about hunger and satiety, check!  Still intact!  I stopped eating when I was full, check! And yay!  Eating more doesn't make me feel better, check! Clearly not, I was about to vomit.  Eating isn't an event, check and double check.  It was seeing the friend who brought me the food. And I could succeed.  Yeah I was getting that.  Slowly. 

I hadn't realized I'd learned so much until a quart of chicken lo mein sat in front of me and I watched my hand push it away.

I lost about another 60 pounds over the next year without the food plan, just because of what I'd learned from Nutrisystem.  (I maintained almost the entire loss.)  Even though I was no longer able to eat the Nutrisystem food, the PLAN remained with me because it's not the food you need to change as much as your mind.  At least that was the case with my mind.  
That is why people who say, Getting your food delivered won't help you learn to eat right are so wrong.  It's learning by example and for me, it might be the best way to learn.  Don't tell me how much to eat, SHOW ME.  Better yet, mail it to me in it's own cup.  

So after all this time I'm back.  I finally said, enough.  I want to go back to what worked for me.   It's not the same program which is a huge plus - The plan  is spectacularly fibertastic and the food is so much better.  I can not even believe how much better it is.   And yes, of course, you can find positive and negative reviews on the food but a little perspective here, please.  Not everyone will like everything.

I have been doing the current program for a few weeks and I have enjoyed every meal.  I add extra veggies, sometimes low fat cheese, hot sauce... I don't know.  Things.  There are tons of hints and tips around.  You don't have to eat things as-is if you don't want.

I've lost 10 pounds so far and have a long way to go.  I need this jump-start badly.   What took me so long?


Sunday, May 15, 2011

FiOS is all that plus I get to annoy my kid, it doesn't get better than that...

My switch to Verizon FiOS (internet, phone and TV) didn't occur right-right away because I thought the state of my media was okay (plus the unknown is scary.) My neighbors however were switching right and left -  Wait, make that to my right, left and across my street - But I waited.  I'd had unhappy experiences with providers and I didn't want to go there again.

At some point FiOS made me a 'new customer' offer that was spectacularly good and I caved. I told my family over dinner, We're getting FiOS. I didn't take a poll, I just did it...  Followed by some extended whining on my part.  My family was good with it and just wanted me to pass the green beans but I'd been burned before by poor customer service, loss of internet, loss of TV during storms and who knew what kind of downhill experience I was heading for now.

 But it didn't go downhill. 

The week I got FiOS there was a blizzard and I waited for the inevitable. I'd just come off satellite which was weather dependent and before that cable which was randomly and significantly unreliable - Now that everything was bundled I figured I'd lose the whole e-shebang and be playing a lot of solitaire until the thaw.

And not on my computer.

 But nope.  My TV stayed on as did everything else.  I was tickled and a bit shocked but glad about the storm, and so was my family because I  stopped whining.   What was there to whine about? Don't you just love it when you turn the TV on and it goes on.  Come on, right?  That's been the case since I've  had FiOS. 

But there are tons of other things I love about FiOS starting with their customer service department who have always been responsive and helpful.  I have taken apart a computer and replaced my mother board but I can not program a remote.  Every time I have to do it I call and they do not remind me that their are directions online, directly from the TV set top box, on the paperwork ( and I think the  In-Home Agent and the help channel, too). There are so many avenues for help and they are still glad to help me if, make that when I call.

The longer I am a subscriber the more I find that works in with my life.  About a month ago I was playing around with the remote control and found that I could put  CALLER ID details on my television.  No kidding, I have caller ID on my TV screen.  That may not seem like a big deal but half the time I don't know where the phone is and the other half I'm too lazy to look at it.  Now I don't have too.  Plus, do you know how great this is at night when I don't feel like picking up telemarketing calls?  Now I know the second a call comes in if it's at least a person I know.  I heart this feature with strawberry-scented, glitterly pink hearts.

Get this!  As I write this - Really, right now, I'm streaming a Netflix movie (a 60's comedy classic sporting a pink and yellow kitchen to die for!) using the widget feature.    The movie widget is my favorite at the moment but there are a lot of them .. Facebook... Youtube...  Twitter... Shopping.  The weather!  

The On-Demand Feature is great because I can catch up on things I missed because I go to bed early.  This feature is great if you have a social life as well. And I really like Mag-Rack.  Not that long ago I learned how to make a Rubber Ducky cake.  If you haven't seen it go check it out, adorable!

And - Because there's more - If you have a DVR get the Verizon FiOS DVR App  because it's great!   You can manage your recordings and if I'm being honest, it's easier then using the remote.

The latest thing I found was the FiOS remote App which I put on my iPhone and I probably  say this about everything but this is my favorite because here's the thing: If you can't keep track of the remote because your son's friends have used it as a football and it's in a tree in the backyard you don't have to worry anymore.  You can use your phone.

Plus, I love - really love - sneaking up on my kid and changing the channel on him because I don't know, it's fun and I can.

There are so many features that I love and use daily.  And I love that I get to use them daily; that I turn on my stuff and on they are! I couldn't say that with other providers; I didn't get the same reliability.

I mean, seriously, Verizon FiOS is all that and I get to annoy my kid when ever I feel like it, it doesn't get better then that. 

“I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Verizon FiOS sponsored blogging program. Any views, opinions or experiences expressed are my own.”


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