The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2011-03-06

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The Wood Fairy Godconditioner changed my table

Last night I was feeling pretty frustrated with  my freecycle find.  I had four chairs that were a big mess and a table that was in two pieces. Add to that, the top looked a mess; scraggier then this picture indicates. 

new table

This morning I got out some wood polish, nothing special; just some wood conditioner I picked up once. Don't recall anything about it at the moment except it's oily and lemony.

table treated 4 

And things are looking very much better.  

table treated 5

Having to glue it's  leg back on isn't feeling much like a big deal anymore,  for real.  In fact it doesn't seem like a big deal at all.  

Holy Timber, Batman! The table looks positively dazzling at the moment and I think the  Wood Fairy  Godconditioner came and waved her magic cleaning cloth over it and changed my table into Cindertablella.  Dang.

The chairs, not so much and they remain the ugly step sisters; I think they have to go.


Friday, March 11, 2011

...vintage, mid 20th century dining room set....

I was online the other day and saw an offer come through freecycle that said something along the lines of "vintage, mid 20th century dining room set with a light stain table measures 38"wide and 54" long ( came with 2 leafs and can expand to 78" long)"and I was all over it.  I picked it up today and it's out on my deck for lack of a better place.


Now here's the front...

new table

It does come with issues and really, I don't even know if I'm able to deal with them.  I don't know the first thing about refinishing so I don't even know where to start.   First off, the finish. 

It's fair for something that's been sitting in a detached garage for decades.  But wow, something should be done to it.  What that is I have no idea. 

new table

The bottom is dirty. 

new table bottom

And a leg fell off when Ben and I were getting it up on the deck.  I sobbed a bit.  That makes me wonder about other joints - but again.   I just have no idea. 

table leg

It came with four chairs.

new chairs

All would need to be recovered not so much for the fabric choice - Which I hate -  but all seats have stains.

new chair

And at least two chairs have cracks that look structural.

chair leg

And other things that look like some sort of issue...


So at the moment they are all outside and I'm wondering if I should keep the table but not the chairs. Remember I got these from Freecycle also. 

danish modern chair

 I have four of them and while not issue free, they are not as issued as the ones I just picked up.   If I fixed up the table I could use these.  Or I could have the table refinished professionally (not keeping the matching chairs)  if it didn't cost that much - How much does that cost anyway? - and use the chairs I have because those look pretty good.

I'm not sure what to do but I have to decide quickly because everything is out on my deck and unprotected from the elements. Any thoughts?


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

They've lost a lot of hips that way...

Hello.  My name is Tracy and I'm a compulsive door leaver opener...


No matter what I do, I can't seem to leave the kitchen with everything closed and my family says it's driving them down to Crazytown and all the lights are green.


My feeling is, Hey, family. If that's the worst thing I do, suck it up, y'all.


They more then assured me that, that  is far from the worst thing I do; it's just up there with the most annoying things I do.


FYI - This next one bothers them quite a lot at night because it's dark and at hip bone level...


I hear they've lost a lot of hips this way.  


Is this just me or are these thousands, nay millions of us compulsive door leaver openers out there?  


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I'm meaner then the mean streets of suburban NJ

In an effort to balance that kids are annoying (and they so are), and because it's more fun than a day at the spa, I keep telling my son, "I’m getting a motorcycle."  

In an alternate Universe defined by too much eye-liner and tight leather pants (without looking like a pile of Jimmy Deans)  I did have a motorcycle.  The bike is long gone but I clung to the pants virtually, by renewing the license.

  I may have settled into a minivan - And thanks to gravity; it's all pretty much settled, but that doesn’t mean I’m not the same person who owned the open road all those fourscore and never mind years ago. And since I still have my license the state of New Jersey considers me perfectly capable of straddling another monster and driving the suburban mean streets.

And they are really, really mean.


We’re talking New Jersey here; Route 22. Traffic Circles.  

Anyway, my kid was all, Really? And I was all, yeah.  And he was seriously ready to call me, Dude! and fist bump me some love when he realized  I was talking about a Barbie-pink Vespa and having Hello Kitty painted on the side. In one shake of Hello Kitty's tail I was mom again and so not Dude! and he left the room afraid I would actually do it and identify myself as his mom while driving through town on a pastel Vespa.

Which I totally would.

I dropped my fantasy figuring  the only thing more pathetic than a woman stuffed in black leather on a motorcycle trying to recapture her youth was a woman stuffed in black leather on a  Hello Kitty scooter. Period.

 But whenever I'm feeling it, I haul out the dream of popping me some Hello Kitty wheelies past Bernards High to annoy my kid. And even though I'm kidding, the kid sweats bullets.

Giant Hello Kitty shaped bullets.


Monday, March 7, 2011

No exceptions for prerecorded telemarketing messages, really?

You know when they first started the Do Not Call Registry I do believe there was a drop is annoying calls but now, ugh.  I am back to the same prerecorded horrors as before for example I get this one (Not word for word, I don't write that fast)  multiple times a month.  And sometimes a few times a day.

"Hi this is Ashley calling back in regards to your loan modification. You spoke to someone in our office and requested us to call you back if a new program is available to homeowners who are struggling or behind on their mortgage.We can help you. Please call 888 418 9813. Again that number to reach us is 888 418 9813. Thank you and have a great day "

You know what  - Ashley. First I spoke to no one in your office but your lying self already knows that.  Second, like I told the people at where I registered my number  and  report all  calls such as yours, we do not have a relationship, Ashley.  You and I, no.  We will never have a relationship. 

 Third, I'd love to tell you to stop - actually I wish I was a gypsy and I could do scads worse then that - but you call me with a prerecorded message telling me to call you  which I won't do.  I'm afraid you would take that as 'a relationship' and that brings up number four...

You seem to have not noticed that the FTC prohibits, as of September 1, 2009, telemarketers from delivering prerecorded telemarketing messages to consumers who have not previously agreed in writing to receive such calls. As of September 1, 2009, there will be no exception for prerecorded telemarketing messages – that is, messages that are directly or indirectly trying to sell a good or service – delivered to consumers with whom the seller has an established business relationship. 

The do not call list was a great idea, why I thought telemarketer's as a group would police themselves and the government would have the time, money, means and intention to do it - dunno.


Sunday, March 6, 2011

A cluttered week end round up

1. Books, books, books and more books - Honestly, where are they all coming from because, I'll tell you a little sumpin sumpin  I buy very few these penny pinching days.  About a decade and a half ago I was buying books from Amazon a few times a month plus dropping in on Borders to have coffee and see what they had laying around that I couldn't live without.

Now I get a lot free on PaperbackSwap and when I say a lot I don't mean a lot of books I mean the bulk of anything new (term used loosely) that's shows up here.

This weekend I started a global to-do list which is not to say I've made a list that I think everyone on Earth should participate in but it's a list I started without censoring myself.  So things like dye my hair and work out the toilet issue are on the same list.  I will funnel down to different lists I suppose but for now I wanted an idea of everything I needed to do.

But to the books, I've resisted buying (too many) eBooks for a whole variety of reasons; the main one being I can not trade them or pass them to someone else when I'm done but for someone who hoards books that's just flawed and the only physical books I should purchase are the kind that are not mainly print ( like craft books).

 I think it will take me some time to get used to primarily reading on the iTouch and I will be sad. I like books but seeing my stuffed shelves and knowing they are thinking, "YOU SLOB!" is a bit unnerving.    It also makes me wish I'd gone to eBooks two years ago.

2.  Overwhelmed -   I feel overwhelmed with stuff today and I'm not blind; I see the hoarding shows.  I'm no where near a reality intervention but man.  I bet I could get rid of three-quarters of the stuff here and not even know what's gone.  In an effort to see the glass half-full I will say I am thankful  I don't hoard cats.

3.   Possible? -   Do you think it's possible to get rid of three quarters of your stuff or do you use that much of your stuff... Do you think?  I bet I use less then 20% of the stuff I have...   



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