The Crazy Suburban Mom: Hunger you are a Cheeky Monkey!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Hunger you are a Cheeky Monkey!

*This post is sponsored by a pair of capri pants that sat sad and lonely until yesterday when they zipped without drama,  a wrench, or the need to lie down.*

I finished up my abridged first month on Nutrisystem today.  Abridged because I was six  Nutrisystem Peanut Butter and Jelly Lunch Bars shy of a full month. I love those things. 

I'm printing bumper stickers.


As to how Nutrisystem is going, it's all I remember but way more; more food   (more-better food, too), more healthy, more choices, more fiber, more available help options slash community slash assistance (Nutrisystem site, Facebook, and Twitter) plus I feel a heaping helping of relief just being on it. And you can't beat relief with a stick.

 I'm doing the ENTIRE program - Because it's about the food but not ALL about the food - so I take the Mindset Makeover very seriously.

This week I looked my hunger in the face and darn if it didn't stick it's tongue out at me. Cheeky monkey, that hunger.  When I overeat, I'm never hungry because I'm never empty.  When I diet I don't eat enough so I'm always hungry.

I thought about all this and realized what I feel on diets is more then hunger because hunger implies something normal. When I eat abnormally small amounts the gnawing emptiness is enormous.  It's no longer hunger, it's The Kraken.  (i.e. Able to swallow entire buffets whole or the QE2)

Which is probably why many diets have failed  me.  Mythological sea monsters don't take no for an answer.

My Nutrisystem food comes to me.  It's here, it's labeled.  I eat three meals, plus snacks and  get hungry in a normal way, the way people were meant to.  And when it's time to eat something, I eat something.  It's the right thing to do.

And it keeps away The Kraken. 

Promise to self: No more waiting so long before eating that I want to pull a chair up to a buffet or require IV fluids.

The Mindset Makeover taught me that was a good promise to make.

Okay, I knew that.

But it helps to have things like that reenforced when you're a serial dieter - Make that slow learner - which clearly I am because I've been riding the yo-yo so long it feels like home. 

As to my abridged month - And keep in mind I only do Monday through Fridays which has pluses and minuses -  I've lost twelve pounds.  And for all you people who use the metric system... Well, I have no idea what that is so I will convert to bacon instead.

I've lost 192 slices of bacon in less then a month!  

Or you could say I've lost 192 slices of fat back off my back fat.

Which has the kind of poetic appeal you don't normally find in a sentence that uses both the words back fat and fat back.


Babes Mami 5/27/11, 11:16 PM  

Congrats on zipping your pants! I know how AWESOME that feels!

Gabriele Agustini 5/28/11, 11:41 AM  

You crack me up!! Love this post and how far you've come!! Way to go!!!!

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