The Crazy Suburban Mom: Okay Tracy, just put one foot in front of the other

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Okay Tracy, just put one foot in front of the other

First, a thank you to everyone who left messages, comments, and emails of condolence.   I read them all; I wish I had time to respond but just getting through last week was almost more then I had.  I did a lot of, Okay Tracy, just put one foot in front of the other - Type-thing....

I showed all the messages to my family and they were so touched by all your kindnesses that well, I don't even know what to say.  Thank you.  I know it's inadequate but I'm at a loss for words.

It's Sunday so it's been a week now, exactly.  I'm trying to regroup and figure out how to put things in place again.  I've let a lot go.  I didn't realize how much until I tried to figure out how behind I was;  my banner still says January, got on the scale to see how much I weigh (horrifying), looked at the laundry (not hard since it's no longer constrained by the boundaries of the laundry basket) and walked into the kitchen and looked down (best shown as a visual....)

messy floor

So many things seem unimportant when you're grieving until you are forced to reenter life a little and BOOM! Everything you let go because you didn't have the time to do it, were too sad start it, or too distracted to notice it is now staring you in the face like a daunting mountain of crap.

Or a daunting mountain of laundry.

So I'm back to the, Okay Tracy, just put one foot in front of the other - Type-thing....   The kitchen floor is swept.  The laundry is started.  The scale?  Still horrifying.  It's going to  weeks to undo the last few months of hospital food,  take-out, and the amazing dessert trays people kindly sent - But whatever because like I said, Okay Tracy, just put one foot in front of the other...


Babes Mami 2/13/11, 3:09 PM  

Keep putting one in front of the other! We are here for you.

Give more hugs for me!

Maureen 2/13/11, 5:58 PM  

I had many days of putting one foot in front of the other when my dad passed. As impossible may seem right now, sticking together will get you through it.

beth 2/13/11, 6:00 PM  

Baby steps....we are all behind you...good luck on the re-entry!

ladyjanewriter 2/13/11, 7:01 PM  

Gentle thoughts. Yeah, I can always tell the state of my mind when my room and my laundry and the floor goes kerflooey.

Lin 2/13/11, 8:25 PM  

It's so hard when someone you love dies--you want the world to stop and mourn with you. You want to scream at the traffic that whizzes by you "STOP! Someone has DIED!", but they continue on, doing what they are doing, oblivious to your broken heart. Sigh.

Take it easy on yourself, my friend. Be easy with the chores, the mundane. Going back to that without her in your life is probably more difficult than having her there in the hospital. Going back to normalcy just gives your loss more permanence--which is very difficult to deal with.

Be gentle with yourself while you ease back into life. It takes time.In the meantime, know that we care--and some dirt on your floor doesn't matter a smidge in what's truly important in this world.

dddiva 2/13/11, 11:51 PM  

{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS FOR TRACY}}}}}}}}}}}}} sorry I don't have the words to make it better for you. You're doing fine- just keep doing the next thing.

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