The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2010-07-04

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Weekend round-up, whole lotta shakin' and the doody rug...

1. Pandora - I haven't driven Pandora all week.  See number 2.

2.  A whole lotta shakin' going on -  I'm getting rid of some of my furniture.   I had too much and it makes the place feel small.  And cluttered.  Mongo gave up her apartment this week and that's what got this rolling.  I'm switching out my sofas with hers - which are smaller - and since most of her things are being donated to a charity I asked if the truck would swing by and get some of my stuff.

Some of it they are.  Some I've freecycled, some things I just had to dump and some is ...Well, look.


Transition, I'm calling it.


I took everything out of large storage pieces so bags and boxes line every wall of every room at the moment.


This guy turned up a few days ago.

Funny, I didn't know I was packing a Pinata...   I'm trying very hard not to think about this.  I've worked so hard on decluttering and now look...   Because, I can't.   A person could sob for hours over something like this.


Not that I did.  Okay I did, but it wasn't hours.



I did find the Wii Fit though.


 Ginger was hiding it under the couch along with her collection of dirt, hair, Tazzy feathers, and Snausages.  

And speaking of Ginger.  See number 3.

3.  The Doody Rug -    Twice, really?


So what you're telling me here is it wasn't bad enough that this week was over one hundred degrees with the humidity of a fish tank and I was moving furniture, Ginger?

Burned forever in my memory as Hot Flash Fest 2010... So I  have to deal with the summer of pouring sweat and what? Dog Doodyganza 2010, too?

Once is an accident Ginger, but twice?  Twice is just mean.  


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Karma in the 21st century or Why it's a bad idea to be a giant doody face...

For hundreds of years Karma was something that you didn't have to worry about until your next run around the block but in the 21st century it's entirely different.

I know because I've done an exhaustive study from my front-lawn facing powder room. That toilet is parked in front of a window where I watch the whole world go by.  Seated you, okay I, can watch the comings and goings of many things, in the case of Karma -  Appliance repair trucks.

A week ago Thursday I conducted another study because there weren't any new magazines. I opened a slat and did a quick howdy-do of the neighborhood and  there was an appliance repair truck at that house again.  The house with the neighbors who can't get along and for whom everything is an issue.

Parking, except parking their cars - is an issue. Dog doody, except their dog's doody - Is an issue.  Kids are an issue.  Decorative flags, garbage, noise, shoes on the front porch, well..  I could go on but everyone has a neighbor like this.

I've studied this appliance truck  phenomena and there have been more repair trucks at that house in the last 14 years than any other house. And I while I still have my original water heater, dishwasher, microwave, fridge, and dryer; they have had to replace theirs.

I know because I can see the deliveries from the comfort of my toilet.

This happens too much to be random and has to be the 21st century version of reaping what you sow. Sort of a cosmic thump on the head to say, hey! You've spent your life so far making other people miserable and being a general nuisance; you're about to spend the rest on a first name basis with every repair guy in the twenty mile radius.  Hundreds of years ago if you weren't a good person you would come back as something unpleasant.  But today you get bad appliance karma.

So neighbor, while you spend your time looking for things to nick-pick about we bide our time. We are very patient. We know that for every ridiculous request you make, every outburst you have, and every time you make a giant doody face out of yourself  it brings us one step closer to the day we can all pull up some lawn chairs and watch the install of your new central air.

Until then the neighborhood makes do watching the appliance repair truck parade and we giggle a righteous giggle.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

From there to here...

Haven't done a Weekly Wednesday Weight Watcher update in forever and I didn't want you guys to think I quit.

I've been helicoptering around my 'there' number for quite sometime on purpose.  There is a psychological number that for ages I didn't think I'd get under... but if I did I'd eat non-stop until I was ten pounds over it.

I was there maybe eight times in the last ten years for about a minute and a half.  I never considered there my real weight; I considered there a weight I couldn't reach....So I could never stay there.

I got there about January of this year and decided to just hover for a while and get used to seeing it.   Sort of stay unmoving until there became here.

 I don't weigh in a lot.  They tolerate me at Weight Watchers.  They are very kind.   Anyway, I weighed in today  because I thought it was my one year anniversary of going - which it wasn't - it's next week but this is the first time I'm below there, so I guess there is here now.


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FYI...  Here isn't goal...

And to anyone who has no idea what I just said.  I'm so sorry.


Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Let's go to a kitchen happy place on Retro Tuesday

Not my kitchen with the evil pantry...


This kitchen.


A pink kitchen. A magical kitchen....

A lovely clean kitchen of light and wonder.  A kitchen where all things are possible and everything fits.

Because in here there is no magic and wonder.  


And the only way to get this bulging puppy shut is  for the closet to lay down to zip it's jeans.  Sorry,  old personal zipper traumas showing...

I have to work on it today because I have to fit more stuff in there.   Yes.  It's true.  I now have twice the stuff.

Cover me ladies, I'm going in.


Winner is...

After calculating and a conflab with Ginger  to see who gets doody in their Gym Bags...

The winner of the Novica Shopping Spree is Miss V from over at Vonlipi's Favorites.

Email me, Girl


Monday, July 5, 2010

Dishwasher Karma

And before I even go there, it's fourteen years old.  And yes, it was the standard builder's install but isn't stuff supposed to come out cleaner then when I put it in? 


Every once in a while I see  Susie Homemaker do a housekeeping spot on the news where she swears up and down you can put a mac and cheese crusted casserole in the dishwasher and it will come out sparkly clean.  And yes, your water has to be hot enough and maybe you need the pot-scrubber setting and sure, sure she says it's all in how you load the thing but no.  Just no.

If I even thought of doing that I'd be picking cheese-caked noodles off everything for a month.  I've never ever, ever experienced sparkly.

I get chunky and I pre-wash.

Does everyone else take sparkly out of their dishwashers? And is this chunky business some cutlery-related karmic debt because I was a dreadful rich woman in a past life and mean to Millicent, my kitchen maid.

Millicent, always one for a spot of tea with a dash of irony, asked to be reincarnated  as my GE dishwasher.

Is there any hope of sparkly or is the chunky stuck on thing some unpayable karmic load I'm going to have to live with.

This time around.



Sunday, July 4, 2010

July 4th isn't just the USA's birthday...

It's Ginger's birthday, too.


That picture's probably a decade old.

We don't know how old she really is (her story is here), or her real birthday so we gave her this day; figuring if it was good enough for a country it was good enough for her.

For a dozen years I've made her wear a birthday hat that celebrates both birthdays.


And she does it with as much dignity as possible...


All things, and the funny hat, considered.


She has a good reason to put up with my hat obsession...

Here's the thing: 364 days a year I make Ginger's dinner. And I don't mean I open the can, I cook it.  Every day she gets pretty much the same thing - ground turkey or cooked chicken, veggies and a starch.  But on her birthday it's different.

And Ginger - Much like my kid - Feels the very best food originates with a uniformed teenager and comes packaged in a disposable wrapper.

So she waits patiently.


In the hat.


For this...


Ginger rocks those apple fries. 

Once the food was here it was all over....


No more hat.  No hope of camera focus. Calm didn't redescend until the plate was clean..

Happy Birthday to Ginger!

And  the U.S.A!

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