The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2010-05-30

Monday, June 7, 2010

Pink fluffy terry cloth is not the new black...

I redid that wardrobe list now that I've admitted I hate those black pants and am never going to wear them.

And I took the fluffy pink robe off, too.  I gave it a lot of thought but no matter how I played with it in my head, pink fluffy terry cloth is not the new black

So this is what's left.

1.    The good outfit -  Skirt and top, for the every six year semi-formal shindigs...
2.    All-purpose button down white shirt
3.    Gauzy long all-purpose white shirt - needs something under it.
4.    Spangly black tank top

5.    Sleeveless off-white summer very thin button down shirt that needs something over it.
6.    Long sort of too young for me aqua skirt of dubious taste - Keeping this.
7.    Great Jeans skirt

Plus the Tees, the two capri jeans and the one pair of jeans.  Oh, and some tank tops cause man, is it hot in here to you?
I was having a huge tragic over this yesterday but I've had time to think it over and y'know for someone who spends 99% of her time in Shooting Star flannel pajama pants and an inside out Cape May T Shirt...

I might actually have too much.


Tazzy floats me a loan


Where does she keep that debit card?

I love my mini-pain, Ginger but I also love birdies. I've lived with one most of my life; my dad had parakeets as far back as I can remember... There's just something about those little feathery guys.

Tazzy - Her proper name is Space Cataz; my kid named her - came into my life after my cockatiel, Noodle died. I started visiting pet shops just to be around the birds. Tazzy was the neediest bird I'd ever seen. She was alone in a cage; they had to separate her because the other birds picked on her.
The other cockatiels - obviously the feathered version of mean girls - pulled out all of her crest and tail feathers, as well as most of her wing feathers.

When anyone approached the glass cage she would run back and forth across the bottom.


I went back to the store twice.

I really thought something was wrong with her. I didn't think anyone would buy her.

Than I was afraid someone would.

The third time I went to the store I took her home. And what a mess she was.


This is not what a cockatiel is supposed to look like.

They have tall, proud crests with unmangled tails. And wing feathers. She's also had this crooked beak that made her look like she was smiling to the side.  She was an odd looking thing when I brought her home.

That was about three years ago. And Tazzy's adjusted. She's still needy but not anything like she used to be. She just likes to be held and scratched. Amazing really, since she had never been held until the day I reached into her cage at the pet store, grabbed her and plopped her on my wrist.

She didn't have much of a crest for a long, long time; more of a Mohawk really. And since she loved sitting on my son's shoulder and listening to rock music I started calling her my punk rockatiel.

And that's when the digital photography started. Innocently enough. I wanted to paint her pitiful crest feathers and make them beautiful...

And the rest is digital history.


Sunday, June 6, 2010

Wardrobage, or lack there of...

Cleaned out my closet yesterday and y'know what I got left?

The sound of crickets.

It started when my dad found two boxes of clothes marked  'Tracy 96' in his basement.  One box of Multiples, a one size fits all mix and match thing and a box of dresses. Would have been perfect except for one thing.

No matter how many times I washed the stuff it reeked of basement so - Total loss.

Wanting to know the status of my wardrobe I plowed through my closet and took out everything that was too big, too winter, too ugly, too whatever, and when I was done it wasn't so much a neat closet as ...

The sound of crickets

And because there's nothing in there it was more like...

The sound of crickets - ickets - ickits - ickits...

The only things breaking up the ickets....ickits .... ickits...

1.    The good outfit (skirt and top I wore to a Bar Mitzvah six years ago) *Update later that morning - Tried this on - a schooch small but tolerable, still love this outfit*

2.    Black pants I think will fit by now with my weight loss *Update later that morning - Still a bit small plus I don't like them so looks like I have no black pants either, cross these puppies off the list.
3.    All-purpose button down white shirt

4.    Gauzy long all-purpose white shirt

5.    Spangly black tank top with cotton sweatery thing that goes over it *Update later that morning - Cotton sweater thingy is kinda big...

6.    Sleeveless off-white summer very thin button down shirt that needs something over it

7.    Denim vest from Flylady (meant for wearing when you clean, actually - But whatever) *Update later that morning - Way big and so definintely okay for cleaning but not so much for going out...


8     Long sort of too young for me aqua skirt of dubious taste

9     Great Jeans skirt

10.  Big fluffy pink bathrobe

That's it for the hanging stuff.    I do have a two pairs of Capri jeans and one pair of jeans that fit and several pairs of jeans that are now classified as diaper pants but if I wear them, Oh! The joy and frivolity that ensues because being behind Mommy's diaper pants brings joy to the World.

And I have some T Shirts.

I admit to a few tearful moments yesterday over my lack of wardrobage.

How have I reached the ripe old age of, let's say 17 and call it a day, and all I have to show for it - wardrobabally speaking - is an old Bar Mitzvah outfit,  a few pairs of diaper pants, and the non-stop sound of crickets- ickets - ickits - ickits... that now hangs in my closet where the ugly clothes used to be?


Saturday, June 5, 2010

Weekend round-up, where's Tazzy and the weird James Bondian evil power grid nexus

1. Pandora  As much as she's a giant gas guzzling pain in my wallet and as much as her power lift gate works - What was that technical term - intermittently I love the power lift gate when it's power lift gating.

Tuesday while I walking to my house with a weeks worth of grocerys in my arms and a coupla cans o'soup strapped to each ankle it was really nice to be able to close the lift gate with my teeth.

After a few chews.

Which brings me to my new feature - it's up there on the link bar on the right...

taz in van

Today Tazzy is troubleshooting the rear lift gate.

Mulch   Thursday the lawn guys mulched the neighborhood.  Oh goody!  Now the whole neighborhood smells like the doody rug, not just my dining room.  For anyone who doesn't know what the doody rug is, ask Ginger.

peeking ginger

She knows.

3.  The cable box  We have three TV sets  so - three cable boxes; one never worked.  I finally called for a replacement and when the second one didn't work either they sent a guy out.

He did some general repair-type futzing downstairs and then asked to take the replacement box upstairs to try on another TV.  Upstairs, really? UPSTAIRS?

I've never had a working cable box on a full third of my TV's.  I had to  clean the entire downstairs (Let me not start on how much I hate open floor plans)... and now, NOW I find I was supposed to clean upstairs too?

And it was bad...

But the worst thing happened next...

...always to be remembered as The Great Black Out of Somerset County 2010....

 When he pulled the power cord out of my cable box, I mean as he pulled the cord out all the power in my house went out and he's all, "Did your power just go out?"  I'm not answering.  I'm sobbing because I was online with a ton of unsaved stuff when yes, THE POWER WENT OUT. 

So he goes outside to call his boss, He will be here a while, the customers power just went out, something happened when he pulled the cord, power surge, wires, short circuit...blah blah blah whatever...  I'm still sobbing.

Eventually all the neighbors start milling around because...


He comes back and is all,  My boss says powers out clear to Bound Brook New Jersey!

Did his boss say, "Dude! Get out of that house fast because there is some weird James Bondian evil power grid nexus going on in there and you so don't want to be there when New Jersey lift's itself  off the East Coast and switches places with Hawaii....


But that's what I would have said.


Friday, June 4, 2010

Something old, something new, something sleepy, and how are you?


Ginger had to make cissy all night long. Six times. Seven times - A million feet ninty-five inches of times.  I gave up the sleep thing at 3:20 and just stayed up.

It was like sleeping with the canine version of a 79-year-old enlarged prostate gland that I had to let out to pee.



I want this.  I want this bad. Mongo likes Whopper Juniors, no lie; she does two a meal.   Yesterday I was on line waiting for her usual deuce and saw this...


The Burger King Cupcake Milkshake.  That sounds like a cake flavored party in a cup covered with whipped cream, and kissed by magical rainbow sprinkles. If I don't have one soon I'm going to explode.

Or maybe after.

Either way.

So worth it.


Anyone have a spare van laying around?  Low mileage. Cars with dead Air Conditioners need not apply. 


I totally want this Chloe Paddington Bag


It's close to two thousand dollars but I'm sure if I ask Chloe really nicely pretty please with desperation on top they will take a series of post-dated checks, several rolls of nickles, and a tuna noodle casserole as payment.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

Fat fat fat fat and more fat; it's what's for dinner...

I haven't done Colorado Lady's regular Vintage Thingies Thursday post in a while because most of my Retro Tuesday posts work but this last one, I dunno...  It was very, very atomic aqua but only minimally retro.  I didn't even call it Retro Tuesday, I called it Retro Turquiosday.

But before I get to the real Vintage Thingies Thursday stuff, I want to do the Pink Pyrexy Vintage Thingies Thursday Stuff.   Just look what Miss V from Vonlipi's Favorites sent me.


And look how much prettier it is then my green stuff.  Makes me want to throw my green stuff against a rock and watch it explode.

Cause that's what Pyrex does, by the way.


Lost a lot of casseroles that way.

So go visit her blog she has the most amazing Pyrex; I think she might actually live in a house made of Pyrex. Or stop by her etsy store where I notice she now has Fire King Jadeite.

Jadeite, really?   Now you're finding Jadeite too, Missy? 

And so we move from the sublime to the ridiculous...  I love community cookbooks.  Sometimes I love the recipes and sometimes I just love the giggles.

This one was a giggler.  


It was put out by a New Jersey Hospital in 1968 and this was the first recipe in the book...


Aunt Angie's husband was the chief of cardiology (It's mentioned in the beginning of the cookbook).  Dr. Aunt Angie's Husband must've been hurting for patients that year. 

I figure a community of people eating 31 eggs, 1 pound of ham, 1 pound of salami, 1 pound of pepperoni, 1 pound of farmer's cheese, and a cup of Crisco could put Dr. and Mrs. Aunt Angie's kids through college.

And then some.

 What in the world could this lead balloon taste like or feel like as it hit your stomach?  Just for giggles I put the recipe* in the online nutrition calculator at  sparkpeople and oh! The giggling I did.  So if any of you want to make Aunt Angie's Easter Pie here's the lowdown.



Mmmm-Mmmm-Good! and make mine a double...

*I had to do some guesstimating here. There was no way to know actual number of servings but it was for a bigger pie - with 4 1/2 POUNDS of flour (which is probably three times the amount here).  Since I couldn't covert volume to weight easily and the fat content was much higher for the meats back in '68 - and for the cheese as well,  I made it a one pie recipe and called it a day.*


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

As cute as Peeps and twice as sweet....

There are a lot of people who crave expensive, high quality chocolate.

Something along the lines of, oh I dunno, little darlings hand-dipped by actual Munchkins from Oz, scented with lavender (the chocolate, not the Munchkins),  flavored with chili and then gold leafed before each one is carried to a boutique chocolatier on the wings of a sparkly pink unicorn...

Me, not so much.   Give me that artificially flavored, no naturally occurring colors, three bags for a dollar garbage and I'm set.


When I found out there were Gummy Sponge Bob Krabby Patties

sponge bob candy

I wept...

The only thing I (might) like better then candy no one over the age of seven would eat on a bet is...

japanese candy

Japanese snacks...


Some of it's (probably) much better then the stuff I glom down...

Pocky is one of the better thens...

Custard Marshmallows

And some of it is down right bizarre.

Although don't knock chocolate pudding filled marshmallows until you've tried them.  They are pretty addicting.

I love the packaging...
ramune candy

Sometimes I don't even know what I've bought until I rip it open.


I love the names...

japanese snacks 2

Smile Happy Biscuits.  Come. On.  What's not to like?

More snacks

Seriously, this stuff is as cute as Peeps and twice as sweet.

Hard to imagine, isn't it?


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

It's Retro Turquoisday

Yesterday while looking through some vintage magazines I was, as always, turquoise with envy.

ge kitchen 1955

I decided to do something radical and look at a new magazine;  Elle Decor from this May...

I know, right?

elle decor may 2010

And really, more?  More turquoise?

elmira stove works elle decor ad

This ad for The Elmira Stove Works  about did me in. I went to their site.  I looked at what they had, the colors...  Oh. The. Colors.  I made that word colors a link but listen - a warning -  if you go you will see things like this:

My mother had one of these...

I thought it was stupid.

Did a lot of eye-rolling when friends came over and saw 'the huge ugly pink thing.'   I was not a bright kid.  I'm sure it's in a New Jersey landfill now with all the pink appliances.

I have to stop.

I'm welling up...

So maybe don't go visit  Elmira Stove Works  cause you're gonna  kick your current appliances in the shins.  Save all your stainless stuff the pain of rejection.

And the broken toe.  Take my word on that one. 

After several cleansing breaths...

I needed to get out of the house; I needed air, man.  Clear un-turquoise air.  I drove around for a while and ended up at TJMaxx (warning cell phone pictures ahead)

Oh, the horror...


It's a turquoise-colored conspiracy 


As far as the eye could see...






It didn't matter what department..

tjmaxx colander





Not kitchen....

I loved, loved, loved the lawn and garden stuff.  I'm going to admit something here -  I love odd lawn stuff.  My housing association has issues with pink flamingos but I'm thinking...


"These guys are flat out art, dudes."

At least that's what I'll say in response to the cease and desist the lawn stuff  letter....

And nothing says crazy-fun like...


A disco ball mid-lawn...

Or fifty.

I loved these chairs. I thought they were VERY reasonable





This tested my love of turquoise.  And this...


Well, it's glass.  Kind of a watermelon with a face.   I think it's a pig.  I found it confusing.  Scary.  It was the oddest turquoise thing I'd encountered...


And that was truly sayin' something...


retrotuesay stamp

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