The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2010-05-30

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Weekend round-up, where's Tazzy and the weird James Bondian evil power grid nexus

1. Pandora  As much as she's a giant gas guzzling pain in my wallet and as much as her power lift gate works - What was that technical term - intermittently I love the power lift gate when it's power lift gating.

Tuesday while I walking to my house with a weeks worth of grocerys in my arms and a coupla cans o'soup strapped to each ankle it was really nice to be able to close the lift gate with my teeth.

After a few chews.

Which brings me to my new feature - it's up there on the link bar on the right...

taz in van

Today Tazzy is troubleshooting the rear lift gate.

Mulch   Thursday the lawn guys mulched the neighborhood.  Oh goody!  Now the whole neighborhood smells like the doody rug, not just my dining room.  For anyone who doesn't know what the doody rug is, ask Ginger.

peeking ginger

She knows.

3.  The cable box  We have three TV sets  so - three cable boxes; one never worked.  I finally called for a replacement and when the second one didn't work either they sent a guy out.

He did some general repair-type futzing downstairs and then asked to take the replacement box upstairs to try on another TV.  Upstairs, really? UPSTAIRS?

I've never had a working cable box on a full third of my TV's.  I had to  clean the entire downstairs (Let me not start on how much I hate open floor plans)... and now, NOW I find I was supposed to clean upstairs too?

And it was bad...

But the worst thing happened next...

...always to be remembered as The Great Black Out of Somerset County 2010....

 When he pulled the power cord out of my cable box, I mean as he pulled the cord out all the power in my house went out and he's all, "Did your power just go out?"  I'm not answering.  I'm sobbing because I was online with a ton of unsaved stuff when yes, THE POWER WENT OUT. 

So he goes outside to call his boss, He will be here a while, the customers power just went out, something happened when he pulled the cord, power surge, wires, short circuit...blah blah blah whatever...  I'm still sobbing.

Eventually all the neighbors start milling around because...


He comes back and is all,  My boss says powers out clear to Bound Brook New Jersey!

Did his boss say, "Dude! Get out of that house fast because there is some weird James Bondian evil power grid nexus going on in there and you so don't want to be there when New Jersey lift's itself  off the East Coast and switches places with Hawaii....


But that's what I would have said.


Friday, June 4, 2010

Something old, something new, something sleepy, and how are you?


Ginger had to make cissy all night long. Six times. Seven times - A million feet ninty-five inches of times.  I gave up the sleep thing at 3:20 and just stayed up.

It was like sleeping with the canine version of a 79-year-old enlarged prostate gland that I had to let out to pee.



I want this.  I want this bad. Mongo likes Whopper Juniors, no lie; she does two a meal.   Yesterday I was on line waiting for her usual deuce and saw this...


The Burger King Cupcake Milkshake.  That sounds like a cake flavored party in a cup covered with whipped cream, and kissed by magical rainbow sprinkles. If I don't have one soon I'm going to explode.

Or maybe after.

Either way.

So worth it.


Anyone have a spare van laying around?  Low mileage. Cars with dead Air Conditioners need not apply. 


I totally want this Chloe Paddington Bag


It's close to two thousand dollars but I'm sure if I ask Chloe really nicely pretty please with desperation on top they will take a series of post-dated checks, several rolls of nickles, and a tuna noodle casserole as payment.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

Fat fat fat fat and more fat; it's what's for dinner...

I haven't done Colorado Lady's regular Vintage Thingies Thursday post in a while because most of my Retro Tuesday posts work but this last one, I dunno...  It was very, very atomic aqua but only minimally retro.  I didn't even call it Retro Tuesday, I called it Retro Turquiosday.

But before I get to the real Vintage Thingies Thursday stuff, I want to do the Pink Pyrexy Vintage Thingies Thursday Stuff.   Just look what Miss V from Vonlipi's Favorites sent me.


And look how much prettier it is then my green stuff.  Makes me want to throw my green stuff against a rock and watch it explode.

Cause that's what Pyrex does, by the way.


Lost a lot of casseroles that way.

So go visit her blog she has the most amazing Pyrex; I think she might actually live in a house made of Pyrex. Or stop by her etsy store where I notice she now has Fire King Jadeite.

Jadeite, really?   Now you're finding Jadeite too, Missy? 

And so we move from the sublime to the ridiculous...  I love community cookbooks.  Sometimes I love the recipes and sometimes I just love the giggles.

This one was a giggler.  


It was put out by a New Jersey Hospital in 1968 and this was the first recipe in the book...


Aunt Angie's husband was the chief of cardiology (It's mentioned in the beginning of the cookbook).  Dr. Aunt Angie's Husband must've been hurting for patients that year. 

I figure a community of people eating 31 eggs, 1 pound of ham, 1 pound of salami, 1 pound of pepperoni, 1 pound of farmer's cheese, and a cup of Crisco could put Dr. and Mrs. Aunt Angie's kids through college.

And then some.

 What in the world could this lead balloon taste like or feel like as it hit your stomach?  Just for giggles I put the recipe* in the online nutrition calculator at  sparkpeople and oh! The giggling I did.  So if any of you want to make Aunt Angie's Easter Pie here's the lowdown.



Mmmm-Mmmm-Good! and make mine a double...

*I had to do some guesstimating here. There was no way to know actual number of servings but it was for a bigger pie - with 4 1/2 POUNDS of flour (which is probably three times the amount here).  Since I couldn't covert volume to weight easily and the fat content was much higher for the meats back in '68 - and for the cheese as well,  I made it a one pie recipe and called it a day.*


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

As cute as Peeps and twice as sweet....

There are a lot of people who crave expensive, high quality chocolate.

Something along the lines of, oh I dunno, little darlings hand-dipped by actual Munchkins from Oz, scented with lavender (the chocolate, not the Munchkins),  flavored with chili and then gold leafed before each one is carried to a boutique chocolatier on the wings of a sparkly pink unicorn...

Me, not so much.   Give me that artificially flavored, no naturally occurring colors, three bags for a dollar garbage and I'm set.


When I found out there were Gummy Sponge Bob Krabby Patties

sponge bob candy

I wept...

The only thing I (might) like better then candy no one over the age of seven would eat on a bet is...

japanese candy

Japanese snacks...


Some of it's (probably) much better then the stuff I glom down...

Pocky is one of the better thens...

Custard Marshmallows

And some of it is down right bizarre.

Although don't knock chocolate pudding filled marshmallows until you've tried them.  They are pretty addicting.

I love the packaging...
ramune candy

Sometimes I don't even know what I've bought until I rip it open.


I love the names...

japanese snacks 2

Smile Happy Biscuits.  Come. On.  What's not to like?

More snacks

Seriously, this stuff is as cute as Peeps and twice as sweet.

Hard to imagine, isn't it?


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

It's Retro Turquoisday

Yesterday while looking through some vintage magazines I was, as always, turquoise with envy.

ge kitchen 1955

I decided to do something radical and look at a new magazine;  Elle Decor from this May...

I know, right?

elle decor may 2010

And really, more?  More turquoise?

elmira stove works elle decor ad

This ad for The Elmira Stove Works  about did me in. I went to their site.  I looked at what they had, the colors...  Oh. The. Colors.  I made that word colors a link but listen - a warning -  if you go you will see things like this:

My mother had one of these...

I thought it was stupid.

Did a lot of eye-rolling when friends came over and saw 'the huge ugly pink thing.'   I was not a bright kid.  I'm sure it's in a New Jersey landfill now with all the pink appliances.

I have to stop.

I'm welling up...

So maybe don't go visit  Elmira Stove Works  cause you're gonna  kick your current appliances in the shins.  Save all your stainless stuff the pain of rejection.

And the broken toe.  Take my word on that one. 

After several cleansing breaths...

I needed to get out of the house; I needed air, man.  Clear un-turquoise air.  I drove around for a while and ended up at TJMaxx (warning cell phone pictures ahead)

Oh, the horror...


It's a turquoise-colored conspiracy 


As far as the eye could see...






It didn't matter what department..

tjmaxx colander





Not kitchen....

I loved, loved, loved the lawn and garden stuff.  I'm going to admit something here -  I love odd lawn stuff.  My housing association has issues with pink flamingos but I'm thinking...


"These guys are flat out art, dudes."

At least that's what I'll say in response to the cease and desist the lawn stuff  letter....

And nothing says crazy-fun like...


A disco ball mid-lawn...

Or fifty.

I loved these chairs. I thought they were VERY reasonable





This tested my love of turquoise.  And this...


Well, it's glass.  Kind of a watermelon with a face.   I think it's a pig.  I found it confusing.  Scary.  It was the oddest turquoise thing I'd encountered...


And that was truly sayin' something...


retrotuesay stamp

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Monday, May 31, 2010

The Very Long Voyage on the Good Ship What's in This Stuff

Photo_6424_20090515 The day my son came home from Jamaica and said, "Ma! I ate conch soup off the back of some guy's bicycle.  It's great, you should try it."  I knew I'd been taken for an excruciating eighteen year ride on the good ship what's in this stuff.  With taken being the operative word.
I wish there was a time machine and I could go back to give myself advice on picky kids; back to the very beginning.  Nineteen thousand seven hundred and ten freaking meals ago.  Think about it; three meals a day times eighteen years.  How many miles did I walk trying to find a hot dog at Disney without black stuff?  How many bowls of spaghetti with no sauce; just butter and nothing green around the edges, please -  did I pay full price for?  How many Low Salt Boar's Head baloney sandwiches on white bread, plain with no crusts?  Almost three thousand for school and daycare alone..... (Read the rest on NJ Moms Blog)


Sunday, May 30, 2010

Tazzy Head Bookmark Giveaway because FedEx is so crafty!

A woman with Photoshop and a 
laminating machine is a dangerous thing.


I've been using both to do sort of Where's Tazzy? 
Bookmarks for friends...


If you know me you've gotten a book mark of Tazzy


Perhaps in Waikiki


Or going to the ATM


Or checking to see if her feathers make her butt looks fat...

But a home laminating machine is ...  hmmmm.  Here's the thing - They are a giant pain and expensive to buy and use - something I didn't know until I bought the bulky thing.

Mom Central sent an email about Fed Ex's Out of Office blog, and when I went and found that FedEx stores would have laminated Tazzy for me I was all, well okay - Never mind what I was all...  Let's just leave it at having laminating done is much easier than doing it.  

Oh  FedEx, FedEx where were you when I was laminating my Tazzy onto the Eiffel tower?


They asked if I'd get the word out and I of course I agreed.  There are really cute projects to do and I want to spare you the laminating pain I had.

Should you ever want to laminate your bird to a foreign landmark.

Um.  Never mind that last thing.

As a fun extra - I have one of the little square Tazzy Head bookmarks and I'll do a giveaway if anyone is interested?  Not that I'm even sure anyone who isn't forced by me would want a book mark of Tazzy's head...  just sayin'


Leave me your email and let me know you want to be in the giveaway and I'll do a random drawing.
Entries until Wednesday 9:00 PM Eastern Time.

Winner Announced Thursday Morning

“I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of FedEx Office and received the items necessary to facilitate my review. In addition, Mom Central sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.”


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