The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2010-05-16

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Weekend round-up, lefts, rights, toothless grins, and the scrotum tree

1.  Pandora.  Don't want to talk about Pandora.

2. My family's right about lefts.


When I'm driving I almost never make a left turn without a traffic signal.

Cause, Uh Ma you turn right, than right and right like a million times and sometimes go into a driveway and turn around to get to the direction you should have been going like ten minutes ago. 

Yeah.  So what's your point?

3.  My family is right about my inability to leave the furniture alone.  They were gone from Thursday afternoon until 11:00 last night and I changed around the living room.  And I didn't even notice until just now.

4.  I want a new purse.  I don't need a new purse.  I can't afford a new purse.  What is it about purses that screams, JUST ONE MORE!

5.  Ginger was SO happy it was 85 degrees yesterday!   She loves sitting in the hot, hot summer sun. She always has but I think as she's gotten older she loves it even more. She smiles huge. No kidding.


There's two teeth and a whole lotta huge happy in that grin.

6.  The scrotum tree.  Don't know if you remember back in April I posted (here) and asked if anyone knew what the real name for the scrotum tree was?


I called it this cause of these...


seed pods, I guess..

It's a sycamore. 


Friday, May 21, 2010

How to grocery shop in 12 easy steps (Ha!)

  1. Go through grocery flyers
  2. Look through coupons
  3. ... and search out internet coupons
  4.  Go to five  (or seventeen) grocery stores
  5.  Pick up loss leaders
  6.  ... and free with coupon stuff
  7.  ... and stock up stuff that's too good to pass up
  8.  Unpack groceries until fridge and cabinets are full to busting
  9.  Figure out 7 meals everyone will eat with this mismatch of chicken wings, motor oil, Ranch Dressing, and toothpaste
  10. Feel proud of yourself
  11. Watch as your kid opens the fridge and says, How come we never have anything to eat in this house?
  12. Sob uncontrollably


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Mmmmmm, Tangy!

That show, The Doctors, don't watch it.   I saw it one time before, sometime last year and they were doing a segment on running around without underpants.  But oh! not in a creepy, raincoat way, in a healthful way, yeah - Whatever. 

I don't watch medical shows.  I worked in hospitals for like, twenty years so don't watch 'em.  It's not entertainment, it's like overtime or something.   The other day I couldn't find the remote and it was on so I was the prisoner of several painfully photogenic physicians for a while.  Fortunately there was nothing about underpants this time.

The segment was about spring cleaning and it was actually- it pains me to say it - It was good.   

They had advice about cleaning your appliances.  Some tips I knew, some I didnt.   Since I have a ratty old dishwasher and they started talking microbes my OCD was just banging.  The show motivated me to bomb my dishwasher with three dish-free washes - One with a few tablespoons of bleach, followed by one with a coffee cup of vinegar .... followed by one with half a container of Astronaut Juice.


It does look clean(er) and shiny(ier) in there, I must say and smells a heck of a lot better.  Are the dishes cleaner?  Well my dishwasher is 14 years old so your dishes are probably way cleaner than mine anyway but I'm thinking in a microbial sense - yeah, they probably are cleaner.

At least my OCD and I are going with that premise.

***Update - A lot of people have been confused about the Tang part.  Supposedly... the citric acid in the tang works to remove the hard water scaling on the dishwasher, leaving the parts cleaner in general, shinier and gives it an over-all clean smell.  I think it works - based on what I noticed.  Since it's the citric acid not Tang itself you can use any kids drink that is high in citric acid. ***


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Always will

Wasn't I just carrying you ?


Being pregnant was so hard; I almost lost you.
You almost lost me.


Do you know you had the biggest eyes I'd ever seen?

I didn't think I could love you more.

But I was wrong.


Everything you did made me love you more.

Just looking at you made me love you more.


It still does.


Always will.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A 7 Act Regular Retro Tuesday Drama and because I can't stop myself, let's make it To Go...

The women in vintage ads took a lot of heat.

(I'm making these images clickable in case anyone cant read them)

Or maybe women in the 1940's and 50's just had lives like that.  In any case they never quite seemed to do life the right way, the best way - The way their neighbors, in-laws or husbands would. And advertisers played on their insecurities.

Bob's main problem turns out to be spoiling the boy. My main problem is I want to scream, QUIT BEING A JUDGMENTAL TOOL AND HELP YOUR WIFE CHANGE A DIAPER EVERY OTHER MONTH WHY DONTCHA?

See of all the spoiling Madge is doing Bob main contention is he doesn't want his kid having any sissy laxative...

As a related aside:

There were two Fletcher's Castoria B-17 Flying Fortress bombers during World War II, both part of the 100th Bomber Group.

Didn't they find the thought of a Laxative Logo-ed bomber dropping um, well frankly anything, on a town just the most bizarre visual in the history of bizarre visuals?  

 Back to Bob and Madge.

Look at that baby suck that stuff down...

And look how happy Bob is.  No doubt picturing all the Baby Daddy Diaper Bonding moments he will soon be missing, "Gotta go play golf, Madge.  Geeeze, Hon open a window in here."

retrotuesay stamp

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Vonlipi's Favorites  (you must go!)
Colorado Lady


Monday, May 17, 2010

A few random thoughts and then onto the main point, which is the book Woman, Food, and God

What do I want to talk about today? 

Picked Pandora up Saturday and asked the lady behind the counter, "Is it always like this?"

Counter Lady:  You can never tell with used cars, I always buy new so I don't end up with someone else's headache.  Will that be cash or charge?

I felt myself go into MUAY PAD THAI attack stance.  MUAY PAD THAI is the lost art of  ASIAN KICK-BOX SPORT COOKING.   Totally wanted give that woman a spinning General Tso's back kick to the groin and scream, "FUNNY, THE  SALESMAN DIDN'T MENTION THE HEADACHE PART!"

But I just paid.

And now Pandora's back lift gate doesn't go up automatically, sometimes. Again.  And never on the first click. She's been in for that already but I know how it is to fix/ not fix an intermittent problem.  They rebooted the door basically. But the lift gate never, ever works from the panel inside the car. My fault about that I forgot to mention it; and honestly I don't know if that's broken or I just am doing something wrong but probably not. Cause the left door opens... But than again.

The right side door won't open from that panel either. At all.

But I can't even call them.  I'm starting to say, "It's me again" when they answer.  

I'd rather talk nail polish.


And because my taste in nail color is similar to that...


 ...of what the average three year old girl keeps in her Polly Pocket purse, I picked Chrome Gold.   It's also a pen so it makes doing the toes easy.  C'mon, who doesn't want gold-leafed toes?

And onto the actual point...

  And it's not about my van or toes.  Has anyone read  Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything
I read it over the week-end and it's very good.

Really, really good.  Geneen Roth ,the author,says on her website,  "Your relationship to food is an unexpected path to almost everything. It is doorway, not a wall, an opening, not a closing. All that you believe about love, change, joy and possibility is revealed in how, when and what you eat.  The world is on your plate."

I've read her other books but something about this one was uniquely different.   I absorbed the other books intellectually; they made exquisite sense to me and yet I didn't do a single thing she said.

In the past even though I knew she was talking truth, once I was done reading, I was done.  I was back in my life and what she said was gone.  Not apply-able.  And I don't mean not-applicable, because it was - I mean I wasn't able to apply a thing.

This book was very personal.  The core - the message - of the other books was there but something made this book about my life. Me.

As to the God in the title.  It's the spiritual sense - not an overt God in heaven almighty type meaning so just sayin' if that's a turn off for you - it won't get in the way. 

I'd really like to take something from this book once a week, or so and maybe write about it and than maybe have other people write about the same thing - maybe do a Linky or just link to so I can find what other people wrote too.  If they want to.
I'm going to start next week sometime to give people a chance to think about it and get the book if they want to.  


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