The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2010-03-28

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The manly tree

 I know, I know... I already posted today but I didn't post yesterday and it throws me off and all.  I have this question and is anyone good at tree identification?

This tree sits on the hill up at the end of my yard.


When we moved here in '96 it was a wee little thing and we were all, What's that?  And the builder was all, It's a weed it'll die when the ground cover chokes it out.  But really it wasn't so wee and little that they could just pull it out.

It would have taken some effort to get rid of the weed-tree and we were the last house on the last block of the development to be sold; when we bought the place it meant they were done.   You could hear corks popping all over the place and trucks screeching wheelies outta here.  They were in no mood to deal with one more thing for the road.

Anyway the weed-tree thrived and a few years later we sorta realized that's no weed that's a dang tree.  But what kind?  Since '96 the thing grew so much it must be 40 feet 75 inches.  Okay, not that big but it's really big.  And it's got this double trunk thing.  A study one.


 I love that it holds all my wind chimes.


Cause I have a few.


Maybe an excessive amount...



I'm writing because does anyone know what kind of tree this is?  It doesn't get leaves till like late in the spring and so most of the year it looks like this here...

  I call it the scrotum tree.


Just sayin'...

 So I'm asking is anyone out there a whiz at botany cause I almost blurted out, Don't get too close to the scrotum tree 'cause there probably lots of doody under it, at my party.

And really that sentence is wrong on so many levels I cringe even now.

*And I hope I don't have to say that's dog doody I'm referring to but if I do... sometimes Ginger misses the doody rug under the dining room table and actually hits the out doors.*

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Bon Voyage, Retro Tuesday

 Yesterday started normally but like two words and three seconds into Retro Tuesday the day deteriorated into some crazy hairy awful that was such a huge (HUGE!)  pain it could only rivaled by the astounding awful of the calorically absurd 'Appetizer Favorites' Selection at the Cheesecake Factory. Maybe.

And in case your wondering about the nutrition information I spoke of up there- it's three-thousand two hundred and eighteen calories, sixty-three grams of fat and also by the way - Six-thousand seven hundred and three grams of sodium which is, I don't even know what that is.

And also if your still wondering cause this nutrition information begs for more wondering on so many levels but in case what your wondering is why I wrote the numbers out instead of using numerals it's because those numbers are so high they seem more like something you'd write on checks than calories, you know what I mean?

Six thousand seven hundred and three.  

Doesn't that sound like something you would write on a check (okay, well not me.  I've not written that kind of check.  In fact most of the cars I've owned were worth less than that.  Way less than that.) and not something you'd order for a before your meal comes so you don't get peckish and cranky type thing?

And, oh yeah they say it serves four.  Because I always order a big plate of fried delicious and than share it with three other people, don't you?

Where the heck was I?


And I guess I could do Retro Wednesday because I've gone all the way to Retro Thursday but I don't even have that in me.  I guess if I'm feeling it tomorrow...  But... I think the Retro Tuesday ship might have sailed this week.  Bon Voyage, Retro Tuesday till we meet again.

Next Tuesday.


Monday, April 5, 2010

What I've learned about decluttering so far...

1.  Bins Bad. Shelving Good. -  All previous attempts at decluttering have begun with me running out for more bins.  Not Tupperware bins but bins the size of Pods.  Not that I have anything against Pods, by the way, and many a day I have dreamed of having them just back a truck up to this nightmare and hauling my pain away.

But this time I got rid of the junk first and I have bins left over.  Yeah, no kidding.  I have empty bins and I'm not even done with decluttering.

2.  There will always be a darkest before the dawn phase of decluttering.  There is no way to open Pandora's box of craptastic junk and have it not look worse than it did when all your stuff was hidden in closets, attics, and every crevice.    At least for a while. 

You have to know this will happen and just steel yourself.

3.  The decluttering version of the diet saying: Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  There is a huge relief that comes with lightening the load you've lived under, even midway through the process.  Getting rid of junk feels like losing weight; it's odd, really.   And the relief is proportional to how bad you felt before.

4.  Put the fear in organizing.  Maybe taking all your stuff out and really seeing what you've accumulated isn't such a bad thing.   If you have it stuffed into bins and hidden away it's not very scary but if it's all over your kitchen table and you have to look at the things you haven't seen in two years and have to ask yourself why in the world do I own this two foot by seven foot pile that means nothing to me?

It's pretty scary.  And sobering.

5. The clutter law of unintended consequences.  Once you start the process things you've been ignoring  can not be ignored.  Basically, the project gets bigger.  How big I guess depends on many things.   But I think it will always be bigger than you imagined; just know that going in and be zen with it.

6.  The. Migraine.  There will be stress.  I think that's the main message here.  You will react to it however you react to it.  Letting things go is hard and decluttering is physical besides.  It's not easy but it is worth it.

And so far that's what I've learned.


Sunday, April 4, 2010

Freecycle Karma

The party went well and there was no snow (and I'll post more about that this week). The house was clean and because I'd decluttered for a week...

Plus these two things ...

1. The house was actually clean beyond the surface so when someone wanted to hang their coat in my closet or lay it on my bed they could without me wanting to vomit and ...

2.  I ended up with this...


and this...


See because I've been paying attention to Freecycle
so much I happened to see them come through!

And oh baby!  Do you know how long I've wanted a coffee table and another table to replace a rather shabby Ikea table? 

A year.  The answer's a year.

I've been looking at yard sales and estate sales for that long, and nothing.  I found nothing and than yesterday someone listed these tables on Freecycle and I picked them up this morning and they even have Heywood Wakefield stamped on their bottoms which makes them ligit.  

The woman said she thought they were from 'around 65' and I think that stamp makes that spot on.  They need some cleaning and maybe if I ever get a few bucks I'll have them refinished but I'm so happy to have found them.

All in all a fabulous week!

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Dove Chocolate and Peanut Butter? Next time you don't have to ask if I want it...

A few weeks ago Mom Central asked, Do you want try Dove Milk Chocolate with peanut butter?  Hello, are you kidding?  If this comes up again you can mail me the Dove and skip the, do I want it email.

Just saying.

It may sound odd that I've been dieting since last July and am all, Hello and send chocolate! But dieting is about finding balance and fitting what you love into your life. And making the things you love a lifestyle that you can do forever.

It's not about deprivation because that's the quickest route to failure.   I give up what's not important to keep things in my daily diet that I love.  Like this candy (OH YUM!).  Like butter (real butter).  Like real or slightly light cheese (fat free cheese is an evil scourge).

But this, this was really delicious.  It wasn't the first time I've tried Dove chocolate but it was the first time I tried it with peanut butter and  come on, chocolate and peanut butter is a huge yum!  What can I say, it's just one of those combinations that's perfect and golden.

  I know lots of people are all over dark chocolate but I really like milk chocolate myself, it's so sweet and silky and now that I'm all reminded about it I saved one last piece and if you'll excuse me I have to go  find the one I hid in the pantry behind the ramen noodles, next to the paper cups and under the Snausages.

And it's mine all mine.    While I go get my for real chocolate fix you can get a virtual one here unless you have some Dove chocolate hidden in the pantry behind the ramen noodles, next to the paper cups and under the Snausages.  Than by all means go get that one.

What are you doing still reading?  Go already!

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of DOVE and received samples DOVE Milk Chocolate with Peanut Butter products and a gift certificate to facilitate my review.


Friday, April 2, 2010

The. Migraine.

Tomorrow is the third attempt at my son's luthier apprenticeship graduation party. It's been canceled I think three times already due to...


Lots of it.


Three times.  

My son thinks its going to be canceled again cause he's a glass half-empty sort of guy.   I showed him the weather forecast...


But he's been burned by the weather forecast three times already and isn't buying it.

I'm going ahead with my party plans despite his prediction of a major blizzard.  If so, I will be shoveling in flip flops and a tube  top because I can't stand winter another second.

And believe you me, a tube top on my body will scare the winter right out of the Universe, not to mention I'm sure there would be some sort of registered letter about it from the housing association as well.

The house looks much better than it did earlier this week and it's a good thing or this time the party would be canceled due to...  I guess crap all over the place instead of snow, right?  

Thankfully, the only casualty of the clutter fest / party planning was that endless, persistent, and still present... migraine that I. STILL. HAVE. AND. O. M. G. THEY. LAST. FOR. FREAKING. EVER. DON'T. THEY. AND. OKAY. I'M. GOING. TO. STOP. TALKING. LIKE. THIS. NOW.

But really, I don't have migraines frequently and for me it's the migraine associated business and not the headache itself that's the problem.  The auras and other migraine symptoms get to me more than the junior varsity strength pain that's more of a standard headache.  But since it is technically a migraine, it has all the the hooha and baloney of a migraine.  And can go on for - Oh.  three days I'm up to now.

 I have some finishing touches to put on the house before tomorrow and I have to vacuum the kids room because, there is nothing on the floor and wow. A floor. So let's get a shot of that.



No laundry on bed..


And the floor looks decent too...

And until the hooks go on the wall...


There's room in the corner for for the sparkly guitar.

I think the next rule of decluttering might be - A migraine is inevitable.

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Thursday, April 1, 2010

Painting vintage furniture? How exactly do you do that?

So for Vintage Thingies Thursday I have this banging migraine; a coincidence really.  It's  not from VTT but a function of the spring cleaning I've been climbing out from under... and I've done a ventigigajillion posts over the last week or so if you want to see all the bone-chilling details.  Just scroll back there's no need for links...

I was hoping all you Vintage Thingiers could help me with something.  I've seen a lot of great furniture refinishing posts - and by great I mean easy - over these Thursdays and I always say, Wow! but whoa so not me.

But as I've been clearing the clutter off my flat surfaces things like this emerge...


And I want to paint it.

Parts of it are really lovely.


Parts, a lovely mess...


Parts just a mess...


I think you get where I'm going...


Which is...  Help!

How do I paint this?

I've seen people use spray paint and I've seen acrylic primer, paint and than sealer...  Is there anything else?  And do you just have at it or is there something else I should be doing?

I've done a lot of painting projects but have never  tried painting furniture before.  Does anyone have any thoughts they can shoot my way?

You can comment, email me, or just have a hearty laugh at my expense.  I will understand.   I sort of feel that way myself.

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