The Crazy Suburban Mom: The story of the canned ham

Friday, November 12, 2010

The story of the canned ham

I want to post something about chicken today but first you have to see this because I can't retain this memory alone.  But first the back story - No wait, first a picture.


Now the back story.

My kid ate baloney sandwiches his whole life. Everyday for school the same thing; Boar's head low salt baloney on white bread, no crusts and no anything else.  Every day.  

Until high school when they served pizza.


One day (maybe a year ago) he told me he ate a ham sandwich and, It's good, Ma can we get ham?  And I just said, Sure, Hon and left out the part about the ham in the fridge like a million times and didn't he remember Iron Chef Baloney?

* Iron Chef Baloney took place about (maybe) 6th grade when a fiasco of major baloney occurred.  The only store that sold Boar's Head, stopped.  Leaving him with crust-less white bread for lunch.  I scrambled to buy a few slices of every lunch meat known to man (and yes, many many hams...) and crossed my fingers.  While he was a trooper and gave them all a shot - There was no winner to Iron Chef Baloney.  There was much drama, gagging and sink spitting but alas,  no winner.  And I have the video, by the way....*

Of course - now he likes ham.  Now that I don't have to make him lunch.  Plain ham, the plainest.  Just the boiled stuff, sliced really thin.  It's usually really inexpensive because it's one of those things that delis use as loss-leaders (I think).

Yesterday I was at the A&P and the sale price (THE SALE PRICE!)  was (give me a break) $4.99.   And I know, in the grand scheme of things and considering my deodorant is about $100 a pound - that's not much but honestly.  It should be at least a dollar less on sale.  Period.  So I just walk away and go on with my list.

In the meat department I see a three pound canned ham that is about three dollars a pound.  I've never bought a canned ham.  But you know they look an awful lot like the hams deli guys slice and I think, how bad could it be, right?


And oh, the frivolity that ensued.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Mommy made a block for dinner... and there was much discussion about what it looked like and what it might taste like not that anyone would.  

I did.  And it was surprisingly unhammy.  I said, Sort of a cross between kielbasa, baloney, hot dogs and corned beef - but shreddier- and it might be good with mustard.   Everyone stared at me for a second, let out a collective - EW! and then voted for Chinese Take Out.


I was going to post a chicken recipe but think I lost my appetite.


Gabriele Agustini 11/12/10, 9:28 AM  

That's nasty!!
At any price! :)

Christy 11/12/10, 11:08 AM  

I think I just threw up a little.

Lindalou 11/12/10, 11:44 AM  


Love the story about your picky son and the baloney sandwiches. Now that I no longer have to make sandwiches every day, I can finally find all stories about them amusing.

Thanks for the chuckle.

The Crazy Suburban Mom 11/12/10, 12:03 PM  

Gabriele, In retrospect I should have paid the $4.99 for the deli stuff - live and learn.

Christy - I felt like doing that all night. I kept thinking, that stuff was bad as in, something was wrong with it, all night long. I mean look at it... and I ate it.

Lindalou - you and me both. I made something like 8,000 sandwiches - I did the math once

Babes Mami 11/12/10, 1:37 PM  

My ex used to eat a lot of spam and I can only asssume it's the same kind of thing, it smelled disgusting and tasted gross!

Maureen 11/12/10, 4:59 PM  

Apparently it's hidden in a can for a reason....eww!

Lin 11/12/10, 5:38 PM  

There are just some parts that struck me as odd there in that photo. I mean, what exactly is that stuff and are they throwing in some unmentionables of the pig in there??? I don't think I would have ate it either. Ick.

Misguided Mommy 11/12/10, 11:56 PM  

no part of that is okay. it looks like someone took a shit on top of meat

Dawn's Work at Home 11/12/10, 11:59 PM  

I never actually tried a canned ham, thank you for the heads up ;) I always roast a big ham or get a ham steak, depending on what I am doing with the ham. Occasionally I will get a couple real thick slices of ham from the deli to cube it. I am with you on the price tho, it is more of a point to me with the price. Some things I won't buy because I just feel it shouldn't be that expensive.
Have a great day and I hope your appetite comes back quickly! Your chicken in awaiting you :)

Anonymous,  11/13/10, 11:22 PM  

Rofl @ Misguided Mommy! I saw the photos as I was reading and thinking, "OMG, what the ~#>*~! is THAT?"

London Is Cool 11/14/10, 3:48 PM  

That tinned ham looks worse than dog food, in fact I think my dog that eats anything might even pass on it!

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