The Crazy Suburban Mom: Is that green stuff new cheese or old meat?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Is that green stuff new cheese or old meat?

A few weeks ago someone named Christine emailed me regarding cleaning out my fridge and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter but there's something odd about that fridge.  Here's the thing: My son hooked up this webcam and every time I sit at the desktop it's staring me in the face so I think that thing's on even though my kid swears it's not.

I jerk it's cord right out of the USB  port anyway cause well, I'm like that.  And yet,  I still feel like that things EYE BALLIN' ME  so I've taken to knocking it off the top of the monitor.

What does this all have to do with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and cleaning my fridge?  Well.  I think that webcam was on all the time because it gives a straight shot into the kitchen and right into my fridge...

...and this is the view


And the story (I'm telling myself is)  TRACY'S FRIDGE-CAM ended up on some condiment hoarding site.


Cause things aren't going much better in the door where the horseradish is...

And people visited by the millions just to see the petrified oranges and mystery deli (All of Vegas is betting, Is that green stuff new cheese or old meat?)  

And somehow Christine saw the webcam and read about me being on Weight Watchers and she noticed that I have four (yes, four kinds of butter) and said to herself, Oh this girl needs a fridge make-over and some I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.  Fast.

And she emailed me. 

At least that's my version of the events because that webcam is clearly making me crazy.

She sent me the steps in case I didn't know how to clean my fridge. And yeah.   Clearly I don't...  Would anyone like to join me doing this because after I get passed step one it's going to lonely in my empty fridge...

Step 1

Turn down the temperature a few degrees since the door will be open during the cleaning process.  This will prevent the fridge from getting too warm, ensuring that you can safely put everything back in when you’re done.

Remove everything inside, and perform a “freshness audit,” throwing away anything that is passed its prime (make sure to check expiration dates, especially on infrequently used products.)

Step 2

 Remove all of the shelves, drawers, and anything else that can be taken out.

Using your clean sponge, wipe down the entire inside of the fridge with clean, soapy water.

Use mild dish soap for your suds as opposed to a harsh multi-purpose cleaner - if you wouldn’t clean your dishes with it, it’s probably not something you want to clean your fridge with!

To ensure you’ve rinsed away all of the soapy water, wipe everything down with a vinegar/water solution to get your fridge smelling clean.

Step 3

 Repeat step 2 for any shelves, drawers, etc. – first with soapy water, then a rinse with the vinegar water before reinserting back in the refrigerator.

Add your fresh opened box of baking soda to help collect future odors.

Turn the temperature back to a normal cooling setting.

I'll have other things to post because this involves making your fridge over HEALTHY after you get the petrified fruit out of there, removing any take out containers hiding behind the Orange Juice way in the back to the left of Gdansk, and chiseling any thing off that needs chiseling.

Anyone up to it?  I'll have some coupons to give away soon.

Cover me, I'm going in...


 *ICBINB sent me some things to make my fridge makeover easier, they did not send me a new fridge or anything.*


Vonlipi 10/15/10, 2:47 PM  

Hilarious as usual! I miss blogging sooo much!

My fridge is the same way...oh yes I have this mason jar full of old and funky stuff that is slowly crawling towards the front to try and escape!

I so have to clean my fridge when I come back!

J Sedai 10/15/10, 6:20 PM  

I should SO join you! my fridge has a couple of containers of "leftovers" that never got eaten. and those lil drips from when the kids think it's a good idea to pour a glass of drink IN THE FRIDGE instead of on the counter? oh and foot prints, cause I have a 4 year old who likes to see what's on the top shelf. I'll not go into the condiments.

maybe this'll jump start my blog again, ever since I got my boot for my ankle injury I've not been cooking anything fantastic, and blog worthy.

Lynette 10/16/10, 7:35 AM  

I need to scrub mine something terrible...but i clear out old food once a week.
Why? Cause we don't eat it....odd isn't it. Maybe things will change now since DH stopped job #2. YEAH!
But I cooked on Sunday and have not for the rest of the week. I think we have been living on air?

Darrin.. 10/16/10, 12:08 PM  

HA! Good luck! I need to detail my fridge soon. My bride has been sick for two weeks, and it's looking pretty rough.

Gabriele Agustini 10/16/10, 12:10 PM  

What a hysterical post!
Even the title cracked me up!!
Thanks for starting my day off on a good note! :)

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