The Crazy Suburban Mom: Send me your undimpled masses...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Send me your undimpled masses...

 I was watching one of the Real Housewives shows recently and I was all, "Oh man, I can't believe those ritzy divas stand at the sink and throw water on their pits when they are sweating to death, too.  Who knew, right?"

And the person I was with said, "What in the world are you talking about?"

And I said, "Freshening up.  They were just talking about freshening up."

And the person to my right looked at me like I was from Mars and said, "She was talking about plastic surgery. Gah"

"I knew that, more dip?"

I'm oversensitive about the whole well-tended thing because I live in an affluent area.  The average Yorkie's better dressed then me.  I learned to cope using the rationalization that yes, Gizmo's dress is way cuter then mine but no one has to run after me with a scooper and a doody bag.

And for the record, I have nothing against being well tended; I'd love to lose a chin.  Hey! Several, but something's been really bugging me.  Have you seen the dimpleplasty thing?

 So. If you're biggest problem in life is that you weren't born with dimples you can pay someone to...  I don't even know what they do to be honest.  I just know after several thousand dollars you will have a pair.  I assume a pair.

Why would you want one?  Or maybe they would, the whole thing confounds me so maybe there is a need for just the one.

I'm not uncharitable.  Far from it.   I want to help the hard-of-dimpled.   Right here and now I offer to set up a dimple registry and donate all of my dimples; my ass is covered with 'em.

I'm certain I can meet the needs of the east coast and maybe even several of those large square states in the middle.

And Hawaii.

If you have to travel to the dimpless to donate, put me down for Hawaii.

10 Comments:

J Sedai 7/15/10, 8:50 AM  

between you and me we could cover the whole U.S.

bwuahahahaha!!

first ppl are too skinny, then too fat, then there are too many dimples, now not enough, when will ppl just be happy being who and with what they have??

Amy 7/15/10, 8:56 AM  

Hysterical, Tracy!!! Absolutely ridiculous!
http://amysreallife.wordpress.com

Debbie 7/15/10, 9:32 AM  

Too, too funny!
Maybe I need to watch that show after all:)

Babes Mami 7/15/10, 10:07 AM  

dimpleplasty? Obviously plastic surgeon are running out of boobs to do or Heidi Montag decided to stop so they had to come up with new ridiculous procedures like dimpleplasty...next there can be...
...
I couldn't come up with anything more ridiculous then this right now but when I do you will be the first to know!

Lidian 7/15/10, 11:36 AM  

Who are these people who want dimples? That is just truly weird.

Also, I totally relate to this post. Love it! (As I sit here in a disgraceful T shirt and cut-off capris)

Maureen 7/15/10, 12:25 PM  

Dimpleplasty? Please tell me you're kidding.

The Crazy Suburban Mom 7/15/10, 1:13 PM  

Maureen, You thought I made that up to be funny - I wish I was that funny.

Google it.

Several weeks ago I was bombarded with news stories and it's been bugging me ever since.

Six Feet Under Blog 7/15/10, 2:22 PM  

Too funny! got to watch that.

re'New 7/15/10, 6:05 PM  

omg.... guffawing over here. enough dimples on my ass....

Theres just life 7/15/10, 11:40 PM  

People will pay for the craziest things. Now a days its not designer clothes... its designer faces and bodies. Soon everyone will look like everyone else.

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