The Crazy Suburban Mom: The cashiers I fear...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The cashiers I fear...

Before I go here...

I've been a cashier multiple times.  It is hard. It is awful.  A national convenience store chain gets top billing for most horrific cashier experience.

Hated the customers.

Buy a pack of gum, they wanted a bag.  Buy something for the laundromat next door and they would stand there all hand on jutting hip, Where's my bag, Girly?

Hated the boss.

He hired me when the front-end girl - that was my job title, FrontEndGirl - Couldja  die - left to have a baby.  She was perfect and  I was not.

And because I was not he went and hired his wife part time, her name was, Laziestwomanintheworld.  Her job description was, sit.

The place was hell but conveniently located next to a laundromat...

If the boss said I did something wrong and I informed him Laziestwomanintheworld did it.  He shrugged and said, "What am I supposed to do I have to live with her?"

Or how 'bout the time he saw me throwing away a whole deli container of shrimp salad, "What are you doing?"  and I told him some sort of winged pterodactyl kamikazed into it overnight.

  "Just scoop off the bug."

I mean, Hell to the no, right?

Now that that's out of the way, cut to my fear. I don't know if it's some sort of customer service training or just the people being hired but I've run into a few really loud, chatty cashiers.

I'm not talking about polite banter.  I'm talking air horns in underpants with debit cards.  Outside voices.  Voices that should be on stage.  And worse,  they lack filters.  Whatever pops in will pop out and it's horrifying. 

I just want low level exchanges.  Polite without comment on what I'm buying.  Oh God, please pretend you don't see what I'm buying.  "Good product Monostat now that it comes with the anti-itch cream..."


I long for the days of drug store self check-out.

This is what brought all that up.

I used to get cold sores a lot, a few times a year at least.  Enough that I used to keep a prescription for them in the house.   Last night I'm eating dinner and  started to feel the cold sore tingle and I just start to shake.

I don't have the meds anymore but that's not why I'm about to turn into a sobbing puddle on the floor, and it's not because when I look I will see a cold sore the size of a pizza either.... And not even because the drug's expensive. 

What's got me ready to vom is I know...  Oh I know... if I call the doctor, and if I go to the drugstore and  then get up the nerve to pick it up  and somehow safely make it through check-out there is still a chance of hearing an air horn cheerily boom as I'm sneaking out the exit.....

....And good luck with that herpes Ms. Reinhardt!


Debbie 7/22/10, 7:06 AM  

BWAHAHAHAHA! There is one checker at our local Wally Mart whose line I avoid like the plague. I was traumatized last winter when I went through her line. Just as she was checking me out she suddenly stopped, grabbed a paper towel and blew her nose and then calmly continued to touch all of the things that I was buying. I wanted to hand her some hand sanitizer.

Mommying On The Fly 7/22/10, 8:33 AM  

HEHEHHEHE Hey, I get those pizza size CS's toooo.. Learned a good trick long ago, that has NEVER steered me wrong.... BENADRYL... As soon as I feel the tingle, I pop a benadryl.. do it every 4-6 hrs (or whatever the pkg says) for about 2 days, and although really sleepy.. lol.. no one is any wiser.. lol.. BUT you HAVE to get it EARLY... it doesn't CURE it.. it kinda keeps it from progressing.. so it'll still last the week or so but won't get any riper than when you took the benadryl... I keep some in my bag, in the car, in the kitchen draw.. lol.. BTW.. do this at your own risk, and we take NO responsibility for any side effects resulting from using.. blah blah blah... (my lawyer made me say that.)

Lidian 7/22/10, 8:47 AM  

This post brings back some fun memories for me - I worked in a bookstore with a single old fashioned cash register, and long long lines of rude people who threw change at me when I displeased them -which was often, as I was not very good with the old fashioned cash register.

Amy 7/22/10, 9:18 AM  

I will switch lines if I see the cashier is chatting too much with the people in front of me. I'm not a chatter, by nature, even with those I love, so I'm definitely not about to get into it with the cashier. In college, I never visited the local convenience store after one particular cashier yelled out a "prophylactic price check...aisle 3!"

Vonlipi 7/22/10, 9:51 AM  

Cashier and the postal counter are the same thing! People are rude!

I know some cashiers are rude too! AAAAGGGGHHHH!

Good luck with you know what! LOL

Babes Mami 7/22/10, 10:10 AM  

I was a cashier a few times in my life, I decided that one, I hate people (the bag thing used to drive me CRAZY! It has a handle or it's a bottle of soda that you know your just going to take out of the bag as soon as you get in your car asshole!) and two, everyone everywhere should have to be a cashier for a week or two.

Christy 7/22/10, 10:33 AM  

"winged pterodactyl kamikazed into it overnight."

ROFL! Nearly spit out my coffee!

Lindalou 7/22/10, 12:07 PM  


There is a guy cashier at our local market..that drives me crazy. He's incredibly slow and rude. Went to the market with my oldest daughter and when I avoided his empty line...she said "I can't stand him either".

You are not alone.

Maureen 7/22/10, 1:38 PM  

I've never worked as a cashier. Probably a good idea - for me and customers!

Window On The Prairie 7/22/10, 1:54 PM  

I used to work as a cashier in a grocery store. I got hit on several times, and insulted many times, and worked like a mule. Don't miss it.

J Sedai 7/22/10, 4:40 PM  

this is why I start the conversations with them, I can direct it to "safe areas", "MAN it's HOT today!" "could it rain any HARDER?" "WHY are there no quart sized containers of whole milk? I can't fill my WIC check!" sometimes if they are my babysitters friends it's just a general HI, howareya!? but I always maintain control!

I think next time you go for the CS cream I'd throw in a pack of condoms just to watch their eyes bug out!! (but I'm a lil evil sometimes)

Da Dude 7/23/10, 12:42 AM  

Paper or plastic?

Mommas Soapbox 7/23/10, 3:41 AM  

HA HA..... and scoop the bug out? YUCK!!.... thanks for the laugh!

Jesson And Rey Ann 7/23/10, 3:59 AM  

magnificent,.. nice post! love it...

Lynette 7/23/10, 12:50 PM  

glad your there
glad you have a job

I adore self check outs

I am picky...I want to touch my own things. I want to sack them the way I want them. In the order I wish to have them. Where they will be at my home. Not the cashier or sackers fault. Just that I am OCD and like my own way.

Thankfully they know me well in this one horse town and let me do my own sacking. Now if I could do the scanning too.

Tammy 7/24/10, 3:01 PM  

Ughhh. Drug stores absolutely need self check-out. I always get caught behind the person doing her household shopping. When you are sick, and picking up over the counter medicine, you want to get in and out of there quickly.

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