The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2009-10-11

Friday, October 16, 2009

What you never want to hear your kid say...

Ma, I had an accident.

I didn't want to hear that, ever ever ever.   Since he got his license I hoped I wouldn't hear that.

The only good thing was he made the call - I think I might have just died right there if someone else had made the call and said, Ma'am you're son was in an accident.

I think the space between that sentence and the next might have killed me - It wouldn't have mattered what the next one was; I think I would have died during the pause waiting.

My son is okay, a little sore.  A little shell-shocked.  A little wiser.

I may never recover from the call.

This was Wednesday morning at 8:30 and it's been a blur since than.  I had his car - well, it used to be a car... At the moment it's more a modern art piece ... towed 100 miles, home.  And to any of you that don't have AAA Plus (it's the plus that gets you extended towing) get it today.

The fact that you can have a car towed that far - the fact that you can have you're own mechanic take care of it and not someone who you don't know... Oh man.  Worth every penny.  This is the AAA site HERE, you won't be sorry if you ever need them.


So today's score is...  Day 26, no car (me)

and Day 2, no car for my son...

This is getting ridiculous...

*ps - Just so ya know - AAA has no idea who I am.  Well, they will when they get the tow bill, I suppose, for towing my kid's car 100 miles.  But just wanted to keep it real.  I am just a regular, happy paying customer .*


Thursday, October 15, 2009

What a crock!

I did get out this week-end and found an estate sale so I'm doing Vintage Thingies Thursday with Colorado Lady , Thrifty Thursday over at Bloggeritaville (Don't you love that name?) and The Dalomba Days

The main thing I got (and love to giggling) was something I've never picked up before, I hear it's called a pickle crock and should have a lid.  Perusing the internet I found - and I know nothing about pottery except that I was very bad at making it in camp, Where was I? Oh yes... The crown is found on things made by the Robinson Ransbottom Pottery Company, Roseville, Ohio and things with similar marks (crocks, beanpots, etc) were made in early 1900's.


And okay, the crock has imperfections, probably from falling 
over when it was full of pickles...

But hey, I have imperfections from falling over when I was full of pickles, too!

or was it that I was crocked?

A memorable Forth of July that was - The summer of '92 - But I digress...


It's sitting on a vintage suitcase - I got that at yard sale ten years ago when I didn't know
the word vintage - I only knew the word 'old'.


I don't make pickles but it sure is nice for keeping my vintage magazines neat!

 I did Retro Tuesday (on Wednesday) yesterday -if you love vintage magazines - check it out HERE

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

It's Retro Tuesday with a bow

 Anyone want to do Retro Tuesday with me?
People did last week and it was fun! Info at bottom of the post!

I have a House Beautiful Magazine from 1960 that I haven't look at in a while so I picked it up this morning.  It's huge - over 300 pages.  It's the largest vintage magazine I have, or have seen and the first one I noticed a huge "Christmas equals gift giving" thing going on.  I've seen it in other magazines but not to the point where they add 200 extra pages and the products are all sporting red bows...

All the ads for this Retro Tuesday, I mean Wednesday, came from this one magazine.  I think it will take me a lot of Tuesdays (or Wednesdays) to get through with this one.

retro wednesday

The first ad I found was for a company that made small kitchen
appliances, Cory.  I've wanted to do this
ad a few times before.  Any ideas why?


Yes, I do think their Crown Jewel Automatic
Percolator is fab looking, but that's not it.  


Does that woman look like Barbara Eden or what?

And look at her in main picture....

It even looks like her I Dream of Jeanie costume for crying out loud!

So this next one ad got my attention fast because these ovens came in Sunny Yellow, Mayfair Pink, Turquoise, Aztec Copper (and than they say after a hyphen) "plus satin chrome" - which sounds like stainless to me... which I'm so over.  Raise you're hand if you're over stainless appliances.  Hey!  That sounds like a facebook group doesn't it?  I'm so over Stainless Steel Kitchens.


And I kind of loved the oven but really, this....


Not feeling that so much...

Nesco's been around for ages...


Although this is sort of an unfortunate name...


Imagine giving the Sprinkle Spray Iron to someone
as a gift and signing, Thinking of you...

Just seems wrong.

And this...


Baking on the table sounds good and all, but a
500 degree thing sitting in the middle
of  my childhood table?

We didn't get along that well....

Okay, so this Drexel Ad?


Isn't the furniture fabulous?  The lay-out too... The colors...


There was even attention to detail in the details... Look at that rice bowl and aren't there chop sticks?  Although why, I don't know but that's neither here nor there... I couldn't even see them until I scanned it.


I love that bench and that divider thingy, even the floor ...everything....


That lamp, that chair....Well, I have to stop because I'm drooling.

So are you wondering what I'm going to say about this ad?

Everything about this ad is totally right on.  I go from picture to picture and thing to thing in the picture and I love it all and than go to read the text and it's a... well, I don't even know how to describe it.  But clearly the copy editor wasn't the same caliber as everyone else involved ....


How many ways are there in the world could they have picked to start describing that dream above?

And they pick sleek as an otter?

You can do the MckLinky on the bottom, but please link back to me and than have at it! Post something Retro-Tuesdayish. It could be an an ad from a Vintage Magazine, Pyrex, antique mugs....or an old recipe from a community cookbook, a button, something you bought, be creative...

MckLinky Blog Hop


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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I got a couple of slippery slopes for you...


        Today I have a post on The New Jersey Moms Blog  (part of Silicon Valley Mom Blogs) and it's making me feel very giddy, kind of like the really cool kids just let me sit with them at the lunch table - not that I have any idea what that feels like, I'm just assuming this is what it feels like and it's way exciting!

Clicking the NJ Moms Blog link will whisk you away on a *poof* of glittery internet magic to the Cool Kid's Lunch Table - I mean NJ Mom Blogs,  where you can read my post,  The Slippery Slope of Mt. What's in This Stuff... At least I think that's what I called it. When I start thinking about my kid's picky eating my mind goes blank and than add all this lunch table stuff and I actually can't remember what I said, but it's close to That Slippery Slope thing I wrote up there...

For anyone who's staying here or who's come here from NJ Moms Blogs I have another slippery slope for you and you don't have to click or move or anything.  I wrote The Ghost of Granny Panties Past, and   posted it back in May but I think like three people were reading my blog back then, so it should be all good.

It's about how we used to get dolled up to go
out and how we leave the house now.

The Ghost of Granny Panties Past

     I drove my son to a friend's house last Saturday and because I was hassled and, it was early I grabbed the keys, stepped into my crocs (okay, imitation crocs), and ran out the door in my pajamas.

     Besides my CVS crocs, I was wearing midnight blue shooting-star pajama pants and an inside-out mustard yellow Cape May nightshirt. On the way out I checked in with a mirror and decided I was presentable for the circumstance because:

a. I wasn’t getting out of the car.
b. The trip would take less than 15 minutes.
c. The night shirt looked like a T-shirt (albeit an inside-out T-shirt) and the chances of someone seeing my shooting star pajama bottoms were practically nil.

     The ride started uneventfully. I listened to talk radio; the boy, his iPod. Someone on the radio was complaining. The sun was in my eyes. People were trying to pass me so they could get to the red light up ahead a few seconds faster than me.

     My normal day came took an ugly turn when I looked in my rear view mirror; that’s when it happened. Instead of seeing the cars behind me; I saw Grandma. But not the Grandma with her perfect nails and immaculate attire; Grandma, the day she opened the door to her apartment in her underwear holding an enema bag.

     I was 18 years old and had my driver's license. Grandma always had maple walnut ice cream and my mother didn’t, so Grandma's was a good place to go after school. I knocked like always anticipating me some cold mapley goodness, instead Grandma and her enema bag opened the door and said, "Oh, Tracy. Good. You can help me with something."

I (stunned to near unconscious) just wanted to rewind my life to a week ago last Friday," No. Uhhhhhhh, that’s okay, you look,"--Just pause a minute from the story and believe me when I tell you I was struggling for a word here--  "...busy?"

     Try to understand my horror at this point (Although, unless you've actually seen granny panties with you're actual Granny inside them, it's probably pointless but whatever....Do you're best with this.) I had never seen my Grandma in her underwear before, a fact I was way good with. Things she said to me over the years came to me in a gross misfortune of memory. Stomach ache? You need a good physic... (Physic was Grandma's word for laxative.) Headache. Physic. Confused? Get yourself a Physic. " Got to move those bowels", she would say.

     Between the physic thing, and the enema thing and the grandma standing in her open doorway practically naked thing, I was on overload and started backing away from the door.  Grandma and her bag laughed at me, "Don’t be silly, come in."  And with that Grandma walked into her kitchen, which was right inside the front door, where she resumed defrosting her freezer.

With the enema bag.

     I never forgot the day she answered the door in her Granny Panties and I've thought about it a lot since it happened. I didn’t want to; it’s just a visual you can’t forget no matter how hard you try.

     And there she was the other day, in my rear view mirror, smiling, nodding, pointing to the enema bag. My first thought was, but I have a frost-free freezer. And than I realized she had come to save me from going farther down that slippery slope she herself had gone down all those years before.

     How is it that one day going out without mascara is unthinkable? And the next day (or next week, or year…They all sort of run together) the only mascara you have on is what’s left under your eyes from the night before?  How does acceptable public attire go from looking hot, to looking presentable, to - Oh well, at least I'm clean... And finally - Well, no one is going to see my shooting star pajama pants anyway.

     And believe me, when going out in your shooting star pajamas becomes okay? You are so far down the slope already you need divine intervention from The Ghost of Granny Panties Past.

I just showed you the next step. And it’s not pretty.  I’ve seen it.


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Monday, October 12, 2009

Clutter Hammers O' Doom

At this point (Day 22, No car), I'm stir crazy.  Compared to most people in New Jersey, I don't (didn't) drive that much (5,000 miles a year) but still, I got out of the house, right?

It's funny, you know...When I was out more I was able to ignore the accumulated miscellany of clutter; the yard sale SCORES! and paper piles, the coupons and untried recipes,  the Oh yeah, I'll get to that tomorrows, and those darn to-do lists everywhere.

And really when to-do lists start adding to you're clutter you're pretty much screwed and should have seen the need for an intervention coming.

Since I can't get out I've become the mole in a surreal clutter version of Whack-a-Mole, except there's no rubber mallet just these menacing Clutter Hammers O' Doom every foot and a half.   I walk to the right and see them and to the left and see them and they are all going:

Yoo-Hoo! Hey! Bam!

Right in the face .... And my face can't take much more of this.

So I think...Like I when did The Jamaican Declutter Fest of 2009, and The Jersey Shore Declutter Fest of 2008, it's time for The Day 22, No Car Declutter Fest of 2009 or I will lose my mind.

I'm going in....Cover me, girls.


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