The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2009-10-04

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Stuff I bet you never knew about me..

1. The first funny thing I ever wrote was unintentional. I was in 6th grade and we had an assignment, "Write what book you want to be and why?" The best one's to be compiled together and placed on everyone's desk as an example of "What our class does everyday!" for back to school night.

So pretty much, the teacher would leave the cream of this literary crop sitting around for everyone's parents to see.

Being an anxious kid, I could think of nothing... well, except my imminent ZERO and hearing about it later from my parents.

Everyone was busy with, "I would be Pippy Longstocking," or "I am Harriet the Spy" or "My favorite book is A Wrinkle in Time" (which by the way, I loved and had I not been in the throws of a panic attack - you can think of nothing besides remaining conscious while hyperventilating - I would totally have been A Wrinkle in Time).

Time was coming to a close and I fell back on my stand-by (Well, I guess to be fair, it wasn't yet a stand-by) sarcasm. I went on and on, ad nauseum, about how I would be a textbook and I would be THE hardest textbook in the world, and there would be so much homework that everyone would hate me. (Despise me, actually.)

And I was pretty much off to the races on my rant about the world's hatred of me until the teacher called time and pulled the paper from my hands.

My, "I would be the world's hardest textbook; despised by all", got picked as one of the literary elite for back to school night, because as my teacher put it, "That was so original and very, very funny, Tracy! Well done!". And really, it was kind of shocking to me.

As it was to my parents, who didn't find vehement sarcasm in a twelve-year-old amusing at all.

Which most likely explains why I kept it up.

2. I worked at Fotomat - Do you remember those booths in the middle of parking lots? Where you drove up and dropped off film? Well, not you but...Anyway.... Yep, that was me.

Surprising and little know facts about working at Fotomat - Our job title was Fotomate; a huge self-esteem killer in itself.

We also made a minimum wage salary, our yellow and blue uniforms matched the Fotomat booths... Where we worked alone... In the middle of parking lots (and by the way there was no bathroom in the booth and I'm not EVEN done yet...) We got crazy amounts of obscene phone calls and flashers drove up to the booths to show us their... shortcomings.

3. No car, Day 8 million (sorry, it just feels that way), make that 18. How can I be a mom in a minivan, without a minivan? And I totally miss my van. It was beyond perfect for estate sales and for driving elderly relatives who don't drive every where.

As a fun aside because I love driving my kid crazy, I keep telling him I'm going to get a Pink Vespa. He's mortified I'll be driving around on a Hello Kitty motorcycle and identify myself as his mother.


Which I totally would.

4. I'm not a picky eater but one thing I will never eat is pumpkin. Fourscore and a jillion years ago I went to someones house on Thanksgiving where they served me the most heinous mess (not mass, this was a mess) of clove-scented mucilage sitting - No jiggling.... Nay! It was undulating sinisterly atop a crust more horribly than you could imagine.

No really, you can't. No one can.

Anyway, to be nice and good and to not make a fuss 'cause that's what girls do, right? I ate it. It cost me, dearly. But I got that wretched thing down.

And I swear I heard it laugh...

My empty plate overjoyed the pumpkin pushers and only served to further fuel their evil pumpkin pushing frenzy, Oh look Herb, she ate the whole thing get her another slice, and with that they heaped another piece of Hell in front of me. I ate that monster too because I was pretty sure that thing had killed me, already.

But never, never again. (I'm doing a fist pump towards heaven, as I write this).

Try to look on this, not so much as a traumatic pumpkin moment, but as a cautionary tale...Because if this isn't reason enough to teach you're daughter's to say 'No.' when they don't want something?

Or better yet, "HAY-ELL, NO!" I don't know what is...

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A hamper named Joan - VTT

One of the blogs I read regularly is Colorado Lady, every Thursday she does Vintage Thingies Thursday and I love it to pieces. It's not just the vintage things that tweak me but it's that so many of you buy things to recreate and make into art. You buy a piece of furniture for a dollar or two and make an heirloom! But I'm not gifted with your vision so....

My Vintage post isn't about repainting furniture.

See, I fell in love with these flowers at an estate sale in kind of an old house. Really retro. The kitchen was totally 50's atomic aqua, with melamine pink plates. Amazing!

In the wood-paneled den were Naugahyde orange couches - I mean quintessential 50's. I was walking through the house and in what used to be a little girl's bedroom (I guess) - all pink and everything, I saw the metallic gold leaves catching the sun from a window across the room...


And above the flowers was this amazing plasticy
marbley kind of iridescent top


And on the sides it had amazing hoop earrings.


Okay, carry handles. Sorry about that, but by than I'd already named
her Joan and knew I needed to give her a home.


And yeah, Joan is only a hamper if that's all you see, but she's
really, really lovely from the top of her frosted pink hair
I mean bench-seat, to the bottom of her little pink kitten heels.

I mean feet. Feet's right, isn't it?

Or would it be knobs?


I think calling them "Joan's little pink knobs" would just be wrong.

Don't forget Beauty life Friday at Inspired Room

Don't forget it's also Thrifty Thursday over at Bloggeritaville.

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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Weekly Weight Watcher Update with a gobble

I've been thinking about Thanksgiving.


Okay, not so much Thanksgiving.

More like Thanksgiving food. And I've started to hear people talking about holiday weight gain already but, I don't know... For me, I don't think it was the few weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years that put my weight on in the first place. Or kept it on till it was a major life issue.

Even if you calculate the thousands of calories I pack away in Candy Corn each year.

So this year my plan is to enjoy the holidays, and enjoy the food but not to give over my power to it.

And also not to pretend I don't have power over food - which I think I've done so I can try things that are sitting in front of me - OH, I CAN'T RESIST HAVING A PIECE OF THIS CAKE, WHY DID YOU BRING IT?

or this which is always said at a table in front of a partially full plate


And my weight loss as a visual this week
was that turkey up there!
(2, actually)


From Nueskes, where I buy my Thanksgiving smoked
turkey every single year, and I'm so not kidding.


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Retro Tuesday with a Tail

retrotuesay stamp

Anyone want to do Retro Tuesday with me?
People did last week and it was fun! Info at bottom of the post!

My Retro Tuesday is a nod to the Groovy 70's.

Normally, I don't get magazines from the 70's because I find the fashions almost impossible to look at and the decor migraine inducing. Of all the decades I find the 70's the least appealing in terms of - Well, everything.

But recently I got some American Home magazines from the 70's as part of a lot and have been thumbing through them (quickly). Besides the occasional thing that I could classify as not ghastly, I've not liked what I've seen. Today I decided to sit and actually look. Take some time. Really contemplate.

Anyway, the fashions? Horrific, still.

And than I get to an ad for recliners and bee-lined in on this classic - The Contour Thermonic heated Viverator vibrating motorized massage recliner in tiger print fake fur.


With a tail.

And I'm about to close the magazine 'cause I'm all, Hell no! and than I pull back a little and see the other models.


And I have to admit that the Danish Modern model is kind of classic even though the Pure Luxury model in Mink is pure ridiculous, but at least it has no tail.


So I decide to see if there is anything, anything at all worth posting.


I've seen one Pyrex ad in all the magazines I've read and never an ad for anchor hocking until now. I love this line and have never seen it. The green is not quite avocado but it's getting there - this magazine was from 1970.

As much as it pains me, this line is fabulous - and from the 70's.

And on I go.


Definitely more avocado/harvest gold but still, I don't know - not quite there to me.

Design-wise I think these are really attractive and would pick the the gold one up. It would so go with my kitchen.


Something about this toaster rings more 50's/60's to me than 70's but design speaking? Way cute! I mean, I kind of love it actually.

So, I have to say I've softened a bit. And I for sure found
things that were better than, Not ghastly.

Anyone want to do Retro Tuesday with me? People did last week and it was fun! You can do the MckLinky on the bottom, but please link back to me and than have at it! Post something Retro-Tuesdayish. It could be an an ad from a Vintage Magazine, Pyrex, antique mugs....or an old recipe from a community cookbook, a button, something you bought, be creative...

MckLinky Blog Hop

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Monday, October 5, 2009

A few blog tiaras...

I haven't done a Blog Tiara in a while and it's fun so here's a few more blogs I like to read for many different reasons...some are funny, some crafty, some are all foodish and some are a combo...

blog tiara

I give a batter-dipped deep-fried blog tiara on a stick to...

This is why you're fat.

(where dreams become heart attacks)

It's sort of like State fair food, only so much more 
amped-up it makes state fair food look like the 
food they serve on The Biggest Loser...

And I'm so not kidding.

Plus it's a good use-it up site.  For example...if you look in your fridge and want to use this stuff up?

1.5 lbs of ground beef, 1 package of bacon, 1 package of italian sausage, 1 box of hot pockets, 1/2 package of fried onion strips, 2 Tombstone Pepperoni Pizzas, Velveta Cheese, and Marinara Sauce....

No problem!

There is a recipe where you can use it all up in one shot.

It's called The Widowmaker.

(Thank you to A Cat Named Anabel for this link) 

Heidi at Kitchen Feast gets one because you know those wacky vintage cookbooks I love to read and laugh at? Well, her too but she cooks from them and than says, Bon Appetit, everyone! Check out the Stuffed Weenies! She swears they were good, well "not too funky" was the way she put it and I'm taking her word for it.

The next Blog Tiara goes to...

Atomic Splendor and it really is... The latest entry about Julius Shulman is fabulous. There is an iconic (and out of print) book about him I've been trying to find for ages! If you love mid-century architecture and design you'll go to this site and never leave.

And a here's another I read cause I haven't done this in a while!

A Daily Dose of Toni
(gotta love her web address

And I still got a couple more...


Son of stuff I don't get

This is post 2 today, if you want to see the resolution of my cell phone fa la la click here.

I've done "Stuff I don't get" before, got another one...

1. What's with the toe nails?

I've seen more than a few gals in sandals recently with toe nails that extend past the ends of their toes. I don't read fashion magazines but am I missing something here? I'm not getting the long toe nail thing at all. Not even a little.

2. I don't get the virulent hatred of Sponge Bob.

I had a Sponge Bob Square Pants answer tone for about a month and every single person who called me hated it. I mean, loooooathed it. Many took an extra step, calling my land-line to tell me they wouldn't be calling my cell phone because they never wanted to hear that again for the rest of their lives. And that listening to my answer tone must be what Hell is like.

My own family would not call me.

Even as I write this, I'm thinking everyone is going to say they would have stopped calling me, too.

3. I don't get my dog.

Ginger eats every day at 4:00 pm but at 2 she starts the daily nag-a-thon. I guess she thinks after 10 years I'll forget to feed her or something. Anyway, she nags, whines and follows me around, jumps, barks and so help me, if I go to the kitchen and do food-prep things - It's worse. She doesn't give me a minute's peace.

What I don't get is how she can be so insistent about this, spending two hours every day pasted to me, never letting me forget she has needs. And the rest of the day and will get off the couch without so much as a howdy-do glance backwards and pee-pee on the floor.


And than jump back on the couch all, Dude I didn't want to interrupt you're TV viewing pleasure.

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And because it's only fair...

A cell phone update. Last week I was not happy with AT&T and did a lot of complaining here. I spent several days investigating all manner of cell phone plans. The front runners were AT&T and Verizon and now that AT&T has rolled out the A-LIST plan( adding 10 unlimited phone numbers to your family plan) both plans are quite similar.

With the A-List the main differences are Verizon's unlimited calling to all Verizon cell phones and AT&T's accumulation of unused minutes as roll-over minutes.

What happened was this: AT&T customer service called me twice and said what I've been waiting to hear - They thanked me for being a valued AT&T customer, several times. Companies underestimate how important it is to hear this. FYI -They didn't say it because they had visited this blog - I looked at my stats. They haven't been here. The price was also in AT&T's favor because there are price quirks in all cell phone plans - AT&T has an unlimited family texting plan for $30. If you have it, and who with a teen doesn't, you can add unlimited web and email for $9.99 per phone. Because I was adding this to my phone it tipped the scale away from Verizon.

And my family thought this was quite hysterical with me being on Day 15, No car and, oh what a laugh we all had. Mommy's getting web access on her phone and she's the only one who doesn't leave the house. A jolly laugh was had by all since Mommy no longer goes anywhere what does she need access to the web outside the house for anyway? Which also begs the question, am I the same person without my minivan? I so miss her.

I had several conversations with Richard, an AT&T customer service rep, and worked out the bulk of my issues. I also went to a mall store to get my son a phone over the week-end. His phone needed to be replaced as it was 10 years old. Because his contract was one of the ones not up until November it could not be done online. This was another example of AT&T working with us, and thank you. There is normally a $75 penalty and a higher phone price for an early upgrade, as well as the $35 phone upgrade fee. It gets pricey. The $75 upgrade fee was waved.

I think this is the phone he got, the Samsung Impression.
(But I got a bit bleary-eyed after a while and they started to look the same)

I ordered this one for me Saturday morning, Motorola Karma. Free after rebate.

I love Motorola. The 10 year old phone my son was using was a
Motorola V551 and if he breaks the Samsung (because they all
break when he has them "Poof" Spontaneously )he will go back to
using the V551 as he has done... for the last 10 years.

So that's were it stands at the moment.


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