The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2009-05-31

Sunday, June 7, 2009


Well Ginger and I were waiting up for the end of the giveaway period last night.

..and trying really, really hard to stay awake.

We didn't quite make it and both fell asleep on the couch.


Looks like the picture needs to be rotated doesn't it?



She wedged herself vertically between
me and the back of the sofa.
That's Tazzy in the background.

So I just did it now...
And the winner is...@eloh who was the second commentor.
I used a Random Integer Generator at

Here are your random numbers:2
Timestamp: 2009-06-07 18:30:36 UTC
Email me at me(dot)parler(at) gmail(dot)com

I know everyone wanted to win that.
I have a clue to the next giveaway which will be soon!
This is my phone.
It's old.


I like it anyway although I secretly covet an Apple iPhone (don't they rock?).
Okay, well maybe my covetization is not so secret... but anyway.

I love my phone because I can attach cell phone charms which on an Apple iPhone by the way, it isn't as easy.

I love how fun the charms are. I love the whole miniature thing. Mini things make me scream and clap my hands like a 10 year old girl.

Also, no one wants to borrow my phone because they are afraid they will give themselves a concussion (banging their head with all the charms).

Okay, so the hint is... the giveaway is not an iPhone... Wish it was, but it's not. The other hint is...The giveaway will start as soon as I get them. (I ordered them just for the giveaway)


Saturday, June 6, 2009

Love you more...

Wasn't I just carrying you ?


Being pregnant was so hard. I almost lost you.

You almost lost me.

Do you know you had the biggest eyes I'd ever seen?

I didn't think I could love you more.


But I was wrong.

Everything you did made me love you more.


Just looking at you made me love you more.


It still does.

MckLinky Blog Hop


Friday, June 5, 2009

The First Crazy Suburban Mom FAQ


1. What were you like in high school?

Remarkably similar to how I am now except my friends were way more unsavory. Now I mostly hang with moms. Than I was most likely to be found with whoever had a brother who had just gotten out on a weapons charge.

2. Did you ever think of doing stand-up comedy?

No, because that would involve actual, you know, standing.

3. Do you really like to cook?

I do. The problem is I like to cook different things all the time. It's hard on my family. I can tell when they really, really like something because they will look at me sadly and say, "We're never going to have this again, are we?" That's when I know I have a winner.

4. How much do you weigh?


5. Did you tell your son about the birds and the bees?

I did, a few years ago. I sat him down and asked him if he knew about sex. He said he did.

So I moved on to my real point. I asked him if he had any idea how much child support he would have to pay if he had sex with a girl and became a father?

Now that he wasn't expecting. And as a 14 year old with no job who spent all of his disposable income on video games and french fries?


We looked up the statistics which were at the time - I remember it well, although probably not as well as he remembers it - $187,408 to raise a child to 18 years of age.

I asked him if he knew anyone who he would want to spend a few minutes with if it would cost him $867.63... two-hundred and sixteen times? He couldn't think of anyone so I offered...

Pam Anderson?

He asked me if I was crazy. No one was worth that...

My job was done, although I have a sneaking suspicion I scarred him for life.

*** Don't miss the depression glass fridge dish giveaway here***


Thursday, June 4, 2009

The good, the bad, and the really really ugly is all available for home delivery from Netflix

I am probably a film-makers nightmare but going to the movies is not much fun anymore.

Movie theaters are just a hassle. The tickets are expensive, any combination of snacks costs in excess of thirty-five dollars and when go sit down? The room is either full ringing cell phones or people who view theaters as a space where all intimate conversation should be done.

The few times I went because it was a movie I should see on a big screen? I couldn't see a thing because the ladies in front of me had freakishly feet-tall hair.

Know what I really miss? Drive-in movies.

I loved them. You were in your own space. You could stretch out... Bring in your own food. You were rarely bothered by the person in front of you. You could talk as much as you wanted to... Heck, you could have a full-on fight with the person you were sitting next to and the people in the next car? No idea.

But the Drive-in is pretty much dead in the 21st century and I had to find a new place to watch movies.

And it's my living room... thanks to Netflix. And it may even be better than a Drive-in because it doesn't involve, ya know, actual moving.

I rent a lot of movies. And when there isn't a new release I start searching the vast Netflix unknown. I really like quirky documentaries. I find people fascinating in general and if given a chance (and a microphone) most people are hysterical.

Granted some of them don't know how funny they are but still... hysterical is hysterical.

This is my first CSM Unknown Gem:

Word Wars

A 2004 Sundance Film Festival®: Grand Jury Prize: Documentary nominee.

Netflix says:

Follow four "word nerds" through their fastidious preparations and smaller tournaments that lead to the national championship Scrabble tournament in San Diego in 2002. These men are highly motivated (obsessed, even) and are not above uttering a few four-letter words when the going gets tough. Our favorite: Joel Sherman, a true dork with acid reflux trouble (he constantly quaffs Maalox) and no other discernible job besides playing Scrabble.

The movie was fun and quirky and way, WAY more fun than you can imagine. Even my kid liked this movie. And not because it was lame and he was laughing at it... but because it was really enjoyable. Honestly, I know you're thinking, How funny can a movie about scrabble be? Much less a movie about people that play scrabble?

The answer is: Funny. And quirky. And interesting. And Joel? My favorite, too.

And it totally makes me want to get out the scrabble board.

There is a trailer (here) on the movies official website.

Now I give you my first CSM Unknown With Reason...


Yep, Monsturd
Netflix says:

Serial killer Jack Schmidt is a fugitive who has the police and FBI hot on his trail. After being cornered and wounded by law enforcement authorities, he falls into a sewage tunnel where the chemical company Dutech has also been dumping its toxic waste. The poisonous mixture of feces and chemicals mysteriously transforms Jack into a part-human, part-feces monster who sets out on a deadly rampage.

The weird thing about that blurb? It makes Monsturd sound way better than it actually is.

Like it's a police drama.

A thriller.

Perhaps, a statement on the toxic nature of our planet?

But sitting here trying to write this? Mostly, what I've found is Monsturd's the kind of movie that's hard to review. You can't say it's good because it's probably the worst movie ever made. Conversely, you can't say the movie is a hideous piece of crap because main character is a hideous piece of crap so that would be, I don't know, redundant?

Yes, I did rent this. My son saw clips on youtube and thought it would one of those 'it's so bad it's funny' movies. Nope. This one is just so bad, it's bad.

With great effort to find something redeeming about Monsturd, a silver lining occurred to me.

The movie was actually made. Released. And bought for distribution. And people rent it. At least I did.

Do you know what that could mean for people with big dreams who say I could never make a movie...Have a book published... whatever?

To them I say... Monsturd.

Let Monsturd be you're mantra.

Like Rosebud a' la Citizen Kane. Only way creepier.

Because if they could get this movie actually made? And released? The sky's the limit, folks. Nothing in this world is impossible.

There is a trailer (here) for anyone with a strong stomach but I beg you... Don't.

By the way just to keep it real... Netflix didn't ask me to write this and doesn't know I did... In fact they would probably ask me to take it down for telling the world they rent Monsturd.


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

What's in the Pantry Today? Bags and bags and bags of ice... and ravioli...

I haven't gotten out much lately.

Much of what I've done over the last week involves this:

My contact with that is limited to walking into the bathroom and having a "Whoa Nelly" moment, turning around and going into the boy's bathroom.

A "Whoa Nelly" moment of a whole different flavor occurs there.

And this...

This is a CPM machine. According to About.Orthopedics:
CPM, also called continuous passive motion, is a device that is used to
gently flex and extend the knee joint. The CPM machine can be
used after surgery to allow the knee joint to slowly move.

It's a remarkable thing. You put the surgicalized leg on it and the machine moves it slowly and gently. It's used for 6 to 8 hours a day.

The first day you could just hear the healing.

"Ow. OMG. Ow. It's too high, it's too high"

And it's heavy as all get out.

And this?

This is cryotherapy.

In layman's terms? A beer cooler with a pump. You put in 3/4 of a bag of ice, top off with water, wrap the blue pad thingy around the knee and plug the sucker in. Cold (Very, damn cold) water circulates to keep swelling down and manage pain.

You can hear the sounds of healing with this one too...

Ahhhh, that feels so good. Thank you . Thank you...

As you can imagine I'm using a lot of ice. About 3 bags a day. Yesterday I did my daily ice run to Rite-Aid and they had 2 bags left after I took my 3. Seems I've cleaned out their inventory.

The Rite-Aiders are starting to look at me funny. At first I just looked like someone stocking up for a party. Now after buying 3 bags a day for a week, they whisper when I walk in.

I ran into a friend on a recent ice run who asked me if all the 'nursing stuff was getting to me' which seemed to me to be kind of... I don't know...Rude? Sometimes you just 'do', you know? Like you would want someone to do for you? I said I didn't think of myself as a nurse as much as an ice bitch.


Shopping for groceries?

Hasn't happened lately. But while I was in the freezer tending to my ice bitchery the other day I ran into some frozen stuff and realized I the makings of a dinner.

This one...


A meatball ravioli casserole

Forgive the photography... I know it's a bit of a 'Who did it and ran' mess, covered with too much cheese. But when I'm stressed? Cheese seems to work as well for me as Xanax.

Hence, the casserole's covered with much too much meltingly gooey Xanax. I mean cheese.

It's very easy. It's even better if you par-boil the ravioli for about 3 minutes first and pre-heat the meatballs in the sauce... but I didn't. I didn't really have the time.

The recipe is so easy and, as almost always, more of a method.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Get a casserole dish big enough to hold:

1. The bag of frozen meatballs you have

2. The jar of pasta sauce you have

3. The bag of ravioli that you have...

Dump the above three things in the casserole dish (if you're not par-cooking the ravioli you may want to add a bit of water. Try to keep the ravioli covered with the sauce).

Cover with foil or a lid and bake 20 minutes.

Take off foil, stir everything together and add:

4. The other 1/2 of the bag of shredded mozzarella cheese, stir.

Bake another 20 minutes.

Take the casserole out and see if it's bubbly and all the ingredients are hot (I cut a meatball in half and checked the temperature). Cooking from frozen is tricky and it may or may not be done. If not put it back in the oven until all the ingredients are hot!

When everything is hot and bubbling:

5. top with the rest of the cheese and return to oven until cheese is melted gooey and delish!

If you have times to pre-cook the ingredients a bit, it bakes faster, if not it takes longer but the prep time is much less... You can go either way here.

I've done this before and some nice add-ins (when I had the time and energy) are:

basil or oregano
Parmesan cheese
ricotta cheese

I consider this a dump lasagna.

**** Don't miss the depression glass fridge dish giveaway here***


Monday, June 1, 2009

Ginger is monitoring another giveaway...but first let me introduce my water bottle, Celeste.

A woman with a computer and a digital art program?

A dangerous thing.

It all started when someone asked me to come up with a button for my blog... It's pretty much deteriorated from there.

I have a CafePress Account because Cafe Press is the only place I can buy the obscure band T-shirts my son wears every day.




In fact if you see a kid with long hair, a black t-shirt (sporting the logo from a band you never heard of), jeans and red converse high-tops?

My kid.

So it wasn't a stretch for me to figure out that I could make my own stuff... And way cooler than the stuff my son wears. I mean, c'mon, right?

So from the original quickly constructed blog tag I worked a little on it... actually I had to work on it twice because I spelled suburbia wrong the first time and didn't realize it until I got it up on Flickr. I am without a doubt the world's worst speller. No one asks me how to spell anything. My kid stopped asking me in about third grade.


I made my own Sigg Custom Water Bottle and it's all mine. From inception to finish, all mine. I feel like I gave birth it.

Although ... I'm going to rethink that birth thing because it's sort of a disturbing visual.


Disturbing visual or not... I'm jazzed because it's going to help me drink more water; something I generally loathe. ...And it fits in my car drink cups.

When I got it in the mail over the week-end I decided to make a whole shop of stuff because I went wacky. (Just keeping it real.) Like the year everyone got Tazzy bookmarks I think this year everyone will get stuff like this... (My family puts up with a lot from me.)

I took my bottle (Celeste) everywhere over the week-end and just holding Celeste makes me feel cooler and look 25 pounds thinner, swear.

And I do not look like a tool, despite what my son says.

I put a link up in the side bar if you want one (or here) because reusable water bottles are good for the environment.

Plus, hearing my son say I look like a tool?

I don't know... It's just one of those magical mother-son moments that never gets old.

And for your surprise!

I know I've posted a picture or two of this before...



That's one of the clear depression glass refrigerator dishes I got at a recent estate sales. I'm not sure how big it is as it's not marked on the bottom. But it looks like maybe a cup, cup and a half? And it's a nice heavy piece for it's size. The lid has a pressed veggie design; tomatoes and asparagus.



I thought you gals would totally love a giveaway of this? It's one of my lazy girl giveaways...

This is a list of things you don't have to do to enter (you can if you want too)

  1. You don't have to go to another website and come back.
  2. You don't have to tweet about it.
  3. You don't have to follow me.
  4. You don't have to blog about it.
  5. You don't have to make more than one comment...

In fact please don't make more than one comment. As always, Ginger, my 14 year old mini-pain will be monitoring the comment section of this giveaway.

Ginger says:


"See my teeth? Well, see two of the four I have left?
One entry per person or I'm atcha like a hole-punch on a mission."

Basically, leave me a comment and tell me you want the veggie dish... I'm easy. If you're post number is picked (I'll be printing them out and hand numbering them) by an online random number generator? That's it, I'll send you the dish.

This one will run until Saturday June 6th at 11:59 p.m. eastern time.

Leave your comment by than for a chance to win.
You might want to subscribe to comments
on this post so you will know if you win or come back
and check to see if you did.

* I am taking off anonymous comments for the duration of the giveaway.*


Who's got the dirtiest windows?

Okay well first the answer is, I do. But second here is my lazy gal disclaimer...

**This is not a standard go here, go there, tweet, sign up, tweet again, giveaway - promise.
You won't have to move... It's a lazy gals giveaway. My kind of giveaway**

I've been a member of the BzzAgent site for few years. I really like it. I've gotten some great products to try and coupons to pass on. This isn't a mommy blogger thing... it's a consumer thing and you can go to their site and sign up too! Right here, in fact.

This is the first time I've posted one of these on my blog, most of the time I just pass the coupons on to people I know but I figured, what the heck? I'm a little home bound about now with the nursing duty I'm doing on my honey's knee replacement so giving away coupons in a more virtual way suits me better at the moment.

The product they sent me:

Windex™ Outdoor All-in-One, Streak-Free Shine in Half the Time!*

New Windex™Outdoor All-in-One
glass cleaning tool provides a faster, easier way to clean outdoor windows.

Say goodbye to hand-drying with Windex's® Special Sheeting Action Formula that prevents streaks and spotting

• Clean 20 windows† with a single pad! (refills available)

Reach up to 11 ft. so you can safely and easily tackle tough outdoor grime without the hassle of using a ladder.

Cleans outdoor windows in just 3 easy steps:

SPRAY window and cleaning pad with garden hose.
WIPE window with cleaning pad.
RINSE window with garden hose. No need to hand dry.

I need light, frankly. If I don't have bright sunlight streaming in? I get depressed. No really. As in up my meds now, Doctor! Depressed.

About 6 months ago we got all new blinds downstairs. The old ones were about 15 years old and the standard 80's verticals. I really would have kept them forever despite being as out of date as Linda Evens shoulder pads but the things were falling apart.


More like actually falling, falling. On the floor. Several of the windows had slats that would fall off if you tried to let some sun in and several windows wouldn't open at all. Closed vertical blinds make for dark, depressing rooms.

We replaced all the blinds with horizontal translucent creamy light yellow blinds and I love them to pieces. In fact I am currently going steady with one of the large living room windows. I call that window Rex. (Please, don't tell the other windows, Marcia, Jan, Cindi, Peter, Bobbi, Greg and Alphonso... You know how jealous windows can be).

That's when it became apparent how dirty the windows were. Since I hadn't cleaned them in... okay, never mind about that... there was a haze on all the windows which I just ignored because... Well, y'all know why. It's a hassle to clean windows.

So when BzzAgent sent me the email about this product? I jumped on it like a woman who had been on a low carb diet for a year jumping on a family-size bowl of pasta.

With my current nursing duties I haven't had a chance to use it but I wanted to Bzz about it and pass out the coupons before it was too late. I'm hoping to get to it this week and if you want to do your windows too?

I have FIVE $3 off coupons for the first 5 people who leave me a comment with their email.

That's it. That's all you have to do.

Leave me a comment with your email.

For anyone who is too late? Don't worry I have a giveaway all planned for later so come back. And I think everyone who liked the vintage pyrex one... if you like vintage things? Will like this one a lot! Anyone like depression glass? Refrigerator dishes? Hmmm?


Put your sunny side up

Any idea what this is?


Do you think it's the

same thing as this?



Well, not exactly.

Here they are again....


This one...


I can get scrambled with a side of

bacon and hash browns...

Not this one...


Because that one came from this...


Not exactly that...

More like this...




Ginger would very much like that little egg
scrambled with a side of bacon and hashbrowns...


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