The Crazy Suburban Mom: 2009-05-24

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Part 2 of When is a Tweet just a Tweet....

Yesterday I showed you Tazzy with her mangled feathers and her mohawk... but today I want to show you something different.

Things actually.

These things.


Dora and Jewel are their names.

They are mine, too. Well sort of. There is a parrot sanctuary in Massachusetts that lets you do virtual adoptions called Foster Parrots (their link is here). I've sponsored Dora and Jewel for two years. Parakeets are cheap to buy and many times treated as throw-a-way pets. People just open the door and let them go when they get sick of them. Or worse.

That was almost Dora and Jewels fate but they were lucky.

Most are not.

If you want to read about a virtual adoption you can here. I really enjoy it...I even send them treats sometimes.

The other thing I wanted to show you was a recent picture of Tazzy, in all her feathered glory.

She's not surfing or globe-trotting in this picture but she's got a rockin' big girl crest and somehow managed to straighten out her beak... although I miss that crooked smile.

And she's much calmer now.



Friday, May 29, 2009

When is a Tweet just a Tweet?

I love my mini-pain, Ginger but I also love birds. I've lived with one most of my life. There's just something about them...

My little feathered friend's name is Tazzy. She came into my life after my cockatiel, Noodle, died. I was lonely and started visiting pet shops just to be around the birds. Tazzy was the neediest bird I ever met. She was alone in a cage. They had to separate her because the other birds picked on her. They had pulled out all of her crest and tail feathers, as well as most of her wing feathers.

When anyone approached the glass cage she would run back and forth across the bottom.


I went back twice.

I really thought something was wrong with her. I didn't think anyone would buy her.

Than I was afraid someone would.

The third time I went to the store I took her home. And what a mess she was.


This is not what a cockatiel is supposed to look like.

Normally they have tall, proud crests with unmangled tails. And wing feathers. She's also had this crooked beak that made her look like she was smiling to the side.

She was an odd looking thing when I brought her home.

That was about two years ago. And Tazzy adjusted. She's still needy but not anything like she used to be. She just likes to be held and scratched. Amazing really, since she had never been held until the day I reached into her cage at the pet store, grabbed her and unceremoniously plopped her on my wrist.

She didn't have much of a crest for a long, long time; more of a mohawk really. And since she loved sitting on my son's shoulder and listening to rock music I started calling her my punk rock-a-tiel.

And that's when the digital photography started. Innocently enough.


Tazzy with a mohawk

But I got to thinking...


Tazzy in front of dots would be fun...

And hey...

... if I could do that why not get...

A picture of Tazzy and a picture of my son's bed...

taz naps4x6

And make Tazzy in my son's bed

And than the gloves were off...

There was no stopping me.

Digitally speaking.


Tazzy on Waikiki


Horse-back riding...


sight-seeing at the Grand Canyon

Tazzy at the MAC machine...


Catching some rays...


And hanging 10...


Forth 0f July Fire works


In Munich, Germany...


Stopping by the Eiffel Tower


... and looking in a mirror wondering if her feathers make her ass look fat...

A woman with a computer and a laminating machine is a dangerous thing.

That year everyone I know got a

Where-in-the-World-is-Tazzy? Bookmark for one gift or another.


Thursday, May 28, 2009

The evidence in living color

Oh! I forgot.

I took pictures of the Memorial-Day-First-Use-of-My-New-Birthday-Grill-Grilled Dinner.

(a.k.a The Salt Fest)


2 loaded hot dogs, of course with sauerkraut, and macaroni salad. Forgot about
the mac salad until I saw the picture. There was another hot dog that followed these.

My ankles are swelling again, just looking.


And I grilled the corn. Easy.

Take the husks and silk off the cobs.
Put one cob, a pat of butter, salt and pepper to taste on a sheet of aluminum foil.

Roll it up and seal the edges.

Throw on grill.

This took longer than I thought it would. I started with two sheets of foil and thought it would take 20 to 30 minutes.

Not even close.

At the end of 40 minutes I took off one sheet of foil and let it go another 10 minutes. Next time I will cook it like I suggested... up there a few lines ago.

The corn was memorably delicious.


The weirdest week. Ever.

It's been the weirdest week. Ever.

1. The day after I tell my son not to cook bacon at night because I'm afraid he will set the kitchen on fire the state of New Jersey gives him a license to drive a 2000 pound weapon of mass destruction.

2. When you are first dating someone and run through all the possible scenarios of what your future together will be like?

Feast, famine, richer, poorer... the good, the bad and the ugly...

The delivery of durable medical equipment?

Never occurred to me.

At 8 o'clock last night when they backed a truck up to my house and delivered this...

Freaked me right out.

It's in my master bathroom over the toilet. I'll be using the boy's bathroom for a while (Something I never do. Something no one ever does)

3. I've handled the stress of the week remarkably well. I ate like a pig; it helped a lot. Tuesday I ravaged the hospital cafeteria eating mass quantities of something called fried broccoli, cheese, and bacon fritters... Along with bags of chips, cans of ice tea, turkey with roasted red peppers and mayo sandwiches (on olive rolls)....and tootsie pops.

On Monday I celebrated Memorial Day by using my new grill for the first time. It's been raining since I got it in March. I felt the need to consume enough hot dogs to make up for the last 2 months. So I ate 3 (with sauerkraut, relish, mustard, onions and ketchup) along with grilled corn on the cob (butter, salt and pepper).

On Sunday my dad took 10 people out for his 82nd birthday. Brunch. I used it as an excuse to work on my anxiety. Sashayed up to the brunch buffet like a hungry hefer at a trough. (I'm assuming hefers eat at troughs - being from NJ I don't have much experience with hefers. Hungry or otherwise.) So. Several Eggs Benedict, followed by bagels covered with cream cheese and my weight in lox, sausage and one piece of bacon (everything in moderation, right?)

For dinner we got take-out. I ate Chinese food. Subgum Wonton soup and Chicken with Chinese Veggies. Maybe a spare rib or two. I don't even remember anymore because my brain is swimming in a sodium haze.

Don't know why I bothered with all this food. I should have just bought a salt lick and saved myself the calories.

The result of all this?

The combination of my 3 day salt fest and being on my feet much of Tuesday caused my ankles to swell up like 2 giant sequoias. Lest you think I'm kidding, here's a picture of my ankles.

I know you think those are giant redwoods but those are my legs.

4. And I'm stumped with a painting. I need some help. But first the background...

I'm going to my eye doctor in a few hours to schedule the first of two laser surgeries. Hopefully the last of the eye surgeries (you can read about the others here). I don't like them working on my eyes. It makes me nervous. There is so much to lose.

I've been working on some paintings related to my eye sight. I'm toying with calling them the Firefly series and I need some help with them. This is the first one that is done (maybe). It's a background of night-sky blue and black with flecks of gold leaf.

Here is the smaller of the two and its about 9 inches by 9 inches (the other one is 2 feet x 2 feet). It's hard to show the gold leaf but it's the light areas. There is a lot of dark in the paintings but as I said in my last post about my eyes - losing my eye sight brought me more than I lost.

I'd like the paintings to feel positive. And I've been looking at it a few days and I don't know if it has enough twinkles of gold to feel sparklingly positive.

I know the light areas don't twinkle in the image but try and pretend they do ... gold leaf is very sparkly.


Do you think I need more? More sparkly gold fire flies? Leaping around in the night sky?


******* UPDATE*******

I'm back from the doctor and I'm scheduled for my first laser surgery on June 8th. This one will be on the left eye. He said I would see " a lot better" because the "residual haziness" is right in the center.

Oh. And I added one more meal to that salt fest a few paragraphs up. In the car I remembered one more meal. Don't know how I could have forgotten that one.... It was egregious. Probably and attempt at self-preservation.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Surgery, New Driver, Semi-wordless Wednesday and Food Porn

My partner of over 20 years (I'm not being vague, I can never remember) had surgery yesterday. I spent the day in a waiting room...

In a hospital cafeteria...

More waiting... more cafeteria...

More waiting...

Some walking in the rain...




And then they finally located a free room.

More waiting...

Eating (You would not believe how much food costs in a hospital cafeteria)

And finally home in time to clean up the dog doody under the dining room table , which my son didn't see. For hours, apparently.

And today? More of the same except I have to take the boy for his behind the wheel driver's test (number 2), first.

It's going to be another long day and I don't expect to have time to write so I leave you with:

Wordless Wednesday

(That is if you ignore all those words at the top)


Udon soup



sushi for dinner

(Did you know not all sushi is raw? This is smoked salmon,
cream cheese, and avocado. rockin')





lox and asparagus

Smoked Salmon and asparagus

wegman's olive bar

Marinated veggies




(I need to do a whole post on Pocky!)

Custard Marshmallows

Chocolate-filled marshmallows
(Amazing, huh?)



and last but not least....

Chocolate Beer

Chocolate Beer

**** UPDATE****

We have a new driver in our family! I'm so happy for him. He's a nervous kid and it took all he had to get himself there. Just a few more weeks and he'd have to take the written over. He's had his permit that long. 2 years.

He's so hard on himself. Waiting in line he about gave himself a migraine. Something about 'head-splitting' and 'not being able to see in 10 minutes'.

I talked about the power of positive thinking. I can tell you that speech has no value to a seventeen year old. He looked at me like I was sprouting pasta from my head. (Linguine, I think).

But it's done. Over. He never has to do it again. The sense of relief was palpable.

Good job, baby.


Monday, May 25, 2009

Karma in the 21st century

Hundreds of years ago people considered Karma something that would affect their next life but in the 21st century Karma is an entirely different thing.

I know, I've done a study from my front-lawn facing powder room window. From the toilet I have a great view of my whole street as well as parts of several other streets. From a sitting position I can watch the comings and goings of many things... particularly appliance repair trucks.

Just today I conducted another study because there weren't any new magazines. I opened a slat and did a quick perusal of the neighborhood. Yet again there was an appliance repair truck at that house. Do you know the house I mean? The one with the neighbors who can't get along. For whom everything is an issue. Car parking is an issue (except their car parking). Dog doody is an issue (except their dog's doody). Kids are an issue (except their kid).

I could go on but it would be boring and unnecessary.

There have been more appliance repair trucks at that house in the last 14 years than any other house. And I while I still have my original water heater, dishwasher, microwave, fridge, and dryer; they have had to replace theirs. I know because I can see the parade of new appliances being delivered from the comfort of my toilet.

Know why that happens to them?

Because if you spend your life making other people miserable and being a general nuisance that's what happens in the 21st century. Hundreds of years ago if you weren't a good person you would come back as a Dung beetle. But know what you get today?

Bad appliance karma.

So while you spend your time looking for things to nick-pick and complain about we just bide our time. We are very patient. We know that every ridiculous request you make, every outburst you have, and each time we have to call the cops on you? It brings you one step closer to that new central air conditioning unit we will be watching them in install very soon.

Until than the neighborhood makes do with watching the appliance repair trucks bee-lining to your door.

But every few years when they install your new appliances?

We giggle.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

Estate sale Score! Well, SCORES! actually

I haven't posted the things I've found at estate sales lately. And lately? I've found quite a bit of cool stuff. All of it vintage I think (not sure about the butter dish though)

Here's a few things...


Way cool fondue forks


I hear these are called hoosiers... They look like shakers to me..


A bunch of depression glass refrigerator dishes. These are really cool!


9 cup flameware pyrex coffee pot


Aqua rubbermaid butterdish


Pyrex, lots of pyrex!


And even more pyrex!

A ridiculous amount of little red pyrex dishes, in fact!

They are too adorable... and make my heart beat faster...

I listed some on ebay and some I will probably list in the future.

And I see a giveaway in my future very soon!
Check back!


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