The Crazy Suburban Mom: Can Stephen Hawken please explain my attic? Please?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Can Stephen Hawken please explain my attic? Please?

As my current declutter tear continues I'm struck by something; the more I get rid of, the more I seem to have and I don't quite get the mathematics that makes that possible. Is there some theory of quantum physics that explains clutter or something? Is this one of the great mysteries of the universe as yet unexplained? Stephen Hawking has worked to explain black holes perhaps he can explain my attic. I removed and removed (and removed) from it, and my living room is full - yet so remains my attic. To the rafters.

How can that be, Dr. Hawking?

And as aside, how is it possible that I've brought three van loads - Van. Loads. - of donations to the VNA drop off and still have an apparent house full of stuff? And being that my van died on Springfield Avenue in New Providence, NJ last night I have no prospects of even being able to drop anything off in the near future, looks like my house will be driving me crazy for quite some time.

But my lack of transportation is neither here nor there, and apparently I am neither here nor there or over there or in the next town or anywhere for who knows how long because the $220 I paid to tow it? The last $220 I plan on putting into that van. Ever.


Look at this. It's a living room in an ad from 1953.


Want to know what I see?

First, I love that lamp in the middle and that red chair. Oh, how I would love that chair. The next thing I notice is all those funky wall colors. I am not crazy about any of them - granted it's an ad for paint but I wouldn't really want any of them in my living room let alone all of them but I guess they were hot-stuff in 1953.

But what I really notice is how empty that room looks to me. Besides the books and magazines there are exactly five knickknacks. I didn't count the plants and honestly I shouldn't have counted two of the knickknacks because they look like book ends, therefore not technically purposeless and not really a knickknack which according to Merriam- Webster Dictionary is a small trivial article usually meant for ornament.

How did we get from a living room with three knickknacks to ...well, I'm not including a picture of my living room, but look around your own living room. It's a good bet you have more than three extraneous things.

Since I have no vehicle I'm going to have to concentrate more on garbage than donatables for the foreseeable future. Today I plan on walking around holding a trash bag and being cut-throat in my pursuit of clutter.

And since I'm in a atrocious mood over the whole car dying thing anyway I'm totally ready to be merciless. Garbage, look out.

This is later in the day and I just realized something. I buy an inordinate amount of crap and complain that I have no money when in fact the problem is I buy an inordinate amount of crap that I don't really need, don't really want and will not last me past the point I can even remember why I bought whatever it was I bought in the first place. I seriously need to think on this because if I didn't buy all this stupid stuff? I could have bought a few really nice things that I did need, that I would still want, and would still be useful to me.

* A-ha yet again*

So. Another update - Normally I just repost but whatever. I'm sitting here and don't know what to do about the purse thing. I have huge clutter issues in my purse too and I need a smaller one but I don't really have a smaller one that will work for me so while I spent the day bitching about how much I have I'm sitting here thinking I may actually have to buy yet something else. And that's after spending the day lamenting about the amount of crap I own. Already.


Lidian 9/21/09, 10:36 AM  

Not even Stephen H understands this. It happens around here too and...I think really that things multiply overnight. And have parties. And also that the cats bring things in (we think they are sleeping all day but they manage to do this)

In other words, it is a mystery!

I love that lamp too. And that lady looks so bloody happy! Hey, look at my record cover! I am so happy to have this record! And also no clutter!

Yeah, lady, whatever.

@eloh 9/21/09, 10:54 AM  


And dear I acually seeing the birth place of Harvest Gold and Avacodo Green (and the red one) of the next generation?

There is fruit in the living room...and why is she smiling....LOOK OUT...he has a hammer!

Venti Vixen 9/21/09, 10:57 AM  

Oh dear Lord, I dream about having an uncluttered house like that. I have been purging for WEEKS now and I swear to God that it looks like I've done nothing. Where does this stuff hide? UGH.

The Crazy Suburban Mom 9/21/09, 12:33 PM  

Lidian - You can't be serious? There is no one to explain clutter? No one?

eloh - yes, I think '53 was before television was a must have. I guess people still talked to each other. Without texting, I mean. And yeah, I think you're right about the color morph.

Venti - I have no answers cause clearly we are in the same clutter twilight zone.

Kathy B! 9/21/09, 12:36 PM  

Oh dear, you sound like you are on a rampage! Garbage beware :)

Sue 9/21/09, 12:50 PM  

Hey, don't you remember that life was idyllic back in the 50's? Sitting around your modern furniture and sparse furnishings... listening to the Hi-Fi or eating your TV dinner while watching B/W shows...
I was a child of the fifties.I remember practically nothing on the walls, little on the coffee table.. in other words- no clutter. Did I really think my parents' lives were simple like that? I know now that they weren't. Just seemed that way.
Sorry about your van and the $ you have put into it. Thanks for the visit. I love the thrill of the hunt. Now if I could only find more Pyrex bowls...
:-) Sue

Mary 9/21/09, 1:40 PM  

The two small pictures to the right of the mantle are giving me a serious twitch. Who would DO that. For pete's sake, put a picture with proportions that actually make sense over th emantle! I cannot look at that picture anymore.

Also, everyone knows that crap is like gas. It expands to fit it's surroundings. If you have 3 things in a box and remove 2, the third thing will fill up the box by itself. I think that was a theorem that Isaac Newton worked on with Pascal. It's called Newtcal's First Law of Crap.

Lynette 9/21/09, 2:43 PM  

understand, I am in the same spot. house feels full and cluttered from all i have collected. but i plan on taking things down, cleaning them up and keeping only 1/3 of all the knick-knacks. The other 2/3's I am taking to the local 'antique' mall and putting in a booth to sell. Maybe make a lil money to help with the holidays.

Jane (Frugal Fine Living) 9/21/09, 3:22 PM  

I grew up in a home that was cluttered and chaotic, which is why I probably don't like clutter myself. (I think my mother is likely a hoarder.) I enjoy a few well-placed accessories around a room and even better if they have a function. Every now and then, I think it's good to clean out clutter and discard items that are useless and donate items that are still useful to charity or have a yard sale.


The Crazy Suburban Mom 9/21/09, 3:42 PM  

Oh I'm feeling inundated! Like the end of this junk won't end!


@eloh 9/21/09, 4:51 PM  

ooowwww, I feel dumb. I get what's going on now. He has a hammer because he is putting up new drapes. I thought that was an afgan strung out on the floor to get tripped on but now I see that it is one of the drapes.

Amanda @ Serenity Now 9/21/09, 7:22 PM  

I could have totally written this. I like the decluttered look of that room, but I do hate the blank area above the mantel. I have way too many froofy things. And I too spend too much and complain I have no money.

Pollyanna 9/22/09, 12:23 PM  

If you get a smaller purse, it is just harder to find your stuff. Because you've got it REALLY crammed in there. Also, (my grandmother turns over in her grave on this one) you can't zip it up anymore because it is not only too full, but there is stuff sticking out the top.

Keep the big purse.

I'm picturing my living room and I have two stacks of books, a plant, a Wii, and a lamp. It doesn't look empty at all. It think what's really missing is a significant piece of wall art over the fireplace - that big blank wall makes the room look empty to me.

And is that one of the curtain panels laying on the chair? Or is it just a matching throw blanket? Weird.

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