The Crazy Suburban Mom: Diaper carpets

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Diaper carpets

You remember all the rain I've been whining about?

I really do look for the cheese rather then the whine but enough already with the rain.

Sheesh, I say. Sheesh, and desist.

My newest rain related pain in the ass has to do with my car. The driver's side rug is soaked. Soaked through. I thought long and hard what I could say it was "soaked like" and I could only come up with one thing. Here it is...


That's my boy when he actually was a boy and one of his favorite cousins. I'm guessing this picture was taken during the Jersey shore declutter fest of 1993 when he was 2. That was the year he had a thing for brooms and his cousin would moon every camera pointed at her.

As you can imagine I had very few photographic options since they were always together and most pictures of him included pictures of her rear end.

But listen, so you have a two-year old and a pool. You don't put bathing suits on them, at least I didn't; you just let them swim in the diaper, right?

The thing with the diapers is they are made of some crazy absorbent space-age miracle polymer that allows them to absorb more water than a diaper should be able to absorb.... It's more water than anything should be allowed to absorb or be capable of absorbing... with the possible exception of me, and my ultra absorbent friend PMS helped along by a side of Cheetos. But that ought to be illegal, too.


So, 10 minutes in a baby pool and the diapers end up weighing, what? 20 ... 30 pounds and frequently outweigh the babies. And oh boy, if for some reason your on the back side of a mass exodus from a baby pool? All you see is a wall of little baby plumber's cracks with 30 pound diapers barely hanging on above little fat baby feet running every which way .

So I want you to visualize that gooey out of the pool 30 pound diaper feel and now imagine stepping on one every time you get in your minivan.

And I'm hoping this helps.

***I've never used this stuff before but DampRid sure sounds promising. I happened to find it this morning in rite-aid while I was in there trying to let my shoes dry. Any other ideas? I'm open to suggestions before my feet start molding***


@eloh 8/5/09, 2:50 PM  

There is a "port" underneath the carpet. You can either pull the carpet back and take the plug out of the port my old black chevy that had a leak in the sun roof...we just called it the Piss-mobile.

Sue 8/5/09, 3:46 PM  

Sorry I don't have any suggestions. I hope that damprid works. I can totally picture the 30 lb. diaper.

El 8/5/09, 4:43 PM  

what is this, the twelve plagues of Tracey? between the infection named Verna and the plantar warts and now this.
it's terrible.
yet i think you're at your funniest in the face of adversity. and your funniest is very, very funny indeed!

El 8/5/09, 4:58 PM  

p.s. did i mention i thought of you when i was ped-egging the other day? :)

Shelley Munro 8/5/09, 5:19 PM  

I've used DampRid before and it works okay in a house. Hopefully, it will do the trick here. Good luck!

Christa 8/5/09, 10:41 PM  

wet vac...or an upholestry cleaner...just don't rapy any water. If you lived near me I'd send my husband right over to suck it all up with his work van.

Christa 8/6/09, 9:12 AM  
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