The Crazy Suburban Mom: Stupid O'Clock

Monday, July 20, 2009

Stupid O'Clock

I don't know the name of the roads I travel all the time. That is unless you consider things like, That right after the store with the obnoxious deli guys, the name of roads. I can't follow verbal directions. Give me a map. Draw something. Give me a diorama of the town and I'm set but tell me this right and that jug-handle and I may be nodding and saying uh-huh but you lost me on the first turn.

I've frequently been two seconds from blissful unlostedness when I made that fatal wrong turn onto the yellow brick road towards Oz and on top of that, everyone was right, When Tracy says hang a right, hang left.

I started using a GPS recently and realized my sense of direction was way worse than I thought. In fact, I'm surprised the GPS voice doesn't end every directional insight she gives me with, Well, well, well, if it isn't stupid o' clock in the van again.

I just thought I was a shooch more directionally challenged than most, but it's much worse. It's ... Well, I've prepared a visual with the help of NASA.

sense of direction

A good sense of direction is so far from what I have that it were a planet, and I were a planet the light from Planet Good Sense of Direction would take 200 million-venti-frick-a-jillion years to reach me.

5 Comments:

@eloh 7/20/09, 1:56 PM  

That is one of my last few remaining senses. It won't be too much longer and I'll have to get one of those things and wear it like a head lamp or wrist watch. I would wear it around my ankle, but I think the occasional flood would probably short it out...and there I'd be, lost in wet pants..just wandering aimlessly.

beth 7/20/09, 1:58 PM  

my mother is the same way. she still gets lost when she uses her gps. i'm not quite as bad. i wouldn't quite say good, but not as bad as her.

The Crazy Suburban Mom 7/20/09, 2:34 PM  

eloh - sounds like you're much better than me but what a trade-off, huh? I can usually hold it...well, unless I'm laughing. Or sneezing. Or coughing. or...on second thought never mind.

Beth - Me and your mom would be a dangerous combo.

The Laughing Idiot 7/20/09, 2:41 PM  

Even with a navigator in the car, I mess up directions. I insist my husband give me the next street immediately after turning, but then I forget it. Drives him insane . . .

Deb 7/20/09, 9:47 PM  

Whenever I borrow Hub's GPS, I swear the voice gets more irritated with every "route recalculation."

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