The Crazy Suburban Mom: I got the Obamas trees by mistake and the apron giveaway winner!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I got the Obamas trees by mistake and the apron giveaway winner!

With the Weight Watcher related math (okay, that's not really hard) I been doing and the Fat Elvis sightings, I completely over-looked the Naughty Donna Reed giveaway.

I don't have any explanation really. Okay, I do have just one.

We've been having some yard work done. Getting some trees put in. We were supposed to get a line of six fir (are they fir?) trees to the left of the small back porch that at some time in the future I would like to get hacked up into little pieces and replaced with a deck. The little porch, probably no more than 6 feet by 4 feet is off the kitchen sliding doors.

I have no windows besides the sliders in my kitchen, its all the light I have. And that porch may not be much but that porch is all the porch I have.

So the truck pulls up with six White House Lawn Governmental sized Christmas trees and they start unloading them and I say to the guy, 'Scuse me, did you confuse my trees with the Obama's?

Missing my sarcasm they continue unloading. I'm all, Aren't those trees too big to even fit? And the head guy is like, What?

Not What? as in what do I mean...more like what is my problem.

And I'm like, Those trees won't even fit in my yard. Those trees will block half my porch. Half the little light in my kitchen. What am I supposed to do when I want to put on a deck? Do you realize when I walk out my back door I will have to exit sideways and hang sharp right, immediately just to walk straight out my back door?

Yeah, okay. I was babbling at that point.

And he's telling me it's a better deal, I paid for smaller trees, I wanted privacy anyway. They are beautiful trees (and they were). Little trees get bigger anyway.

I don't know what he was saying, my head is swimming in a sea of pine needles. All I could see was green for miles but he rattled off a whole litany of tree related excusery about why I should keep the trees. There was something in the middle there about how there were no trees available that morning the size we agreed on which was the real reason I suspect that I got the beautiful Godzillaesque trees, but it was gobbled up on the front side by how nice the trees were... and on the backside by how I should shove them all together, as close as we can get 'em, and than prune them like a hedge. Isn't that what you wanted anyway? A hedge.

It took three days to sort it all out. Half a day alone to dig a trench big enough to even try to put some of those puppies in.

The compromise was to put the two smallest of the governmental sized suckers at the end and (otherly aquired) small ones towards the porch. It all worked out.

The big ones


would be good for blocking out the suns rays during eclipses

And the small ones


still let light into the kitchen via the sliding glass doors.

I took the pictures at 4 this morning with a porch light and my baby camera flash, so yes they are weirdly lit. It's not you.

And now that's that all settled the Naughty Donna Reed Apron goes to...

Here are your random numbers:


Timestamp: 2009-07-11 07:42:32 UTC

Rock on, Jeve!

Email me at

me (dot) parler (at) gmail (dot) com


@eloh 7/11/09, 5:28 AM  

Congrats to Jeve (john and Steve).

Jeve (aka John and Steve) 7/11/09, 11:35 AM  

No way! This is so exciting! We never win anything!!! Thank you!

illahee 7/11/09, 6:12 PM  

congratulations jeve!! how exciting! ;)

Debbie 7/11/09, 6:19 PM  

Those are some big trees! My husband would be so jealous.

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