The Crazy Suburban Mom: Happy Retro Tuesday!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Happy Retro Tuesday!

retrotuesay stamp

I spent a lot of time in the last few days thumbing through my vintage magazines for the Retro Tuesday post. And nope. Not getting old yet.

I can't get enough of those quirky things.

I couldn't decide which direction to go with the post. I am fascinated by ads with the copious use of quotation marks. Clearly, quote unquote means, It sounds really good, and we want you to buy our product but, hey, ya know.... Wink. Wink.

And the kitchens. The kitchens. I had to stop looking at them because I was drooling and didn't want to water damage the magazines.

But thinking back to last week, the thing that captured everyone's attention was the Minute Hygiene contraption. Remember? The stainless steel box a licensed contractor bolted to your wall and attached to your plumbing so you could give yourself an enema while douching at the same time you bathed your infant?

The science of multi-tasking was apparently alive and well in the 50's. Who knew?

So this week I do Feminine Hygiene, 2.0.


This ad was in a magazine called American Home, 1948. At first I thought she was walking into a doctor's office biting her nervous lip and all... but look at the room. It looks more like her mother's bedroom.

I know, many a night I walked into my own mom's bedroom all biting my fretting lip and blurted, Mommy, Mommy, my girly parts, and Mommy said, There there, dear, you'll get used to them.

No Mommy, I don't know what to do, I need to kill every reachable germ and all odor causing clinging waste substances but don't want to impair the functionality of my mucous glands, dammit!

Mommy walked to the closet and hands me a bottle of Zonite, Look dear, no skull and crossbones.



The Tampax people and the Kotex people had very similar ads. They both looked very much like this, both offered to mail books in plain wrappers for girls and both had tons of quotation marks. Things like "that" day... "just right absorbency"and "accidents will happen" which I find baffling. Wha'st the big deal about just right absorbency and accidents will happen, anyway?

And that party just sounds creepy.

And okay, this isn't Feminine Hygiene but I couldn't resist. It's just so wrong.



It's an asthma medicine in three convenient preparations. Powder, cigarette or pipe. Googling Asthmador I found there were cases of acute toxic psychosis induced by Asthmador.

Lest you think I'm the only one fascinated with the breathing medicine/hallucinogenic cigarettes? Nope. It's on display at the Smithsonian American History Museum in Washington, DC.


Makes me wonder, like in 100 years ...will crowds of people will be
walking by my bottle of Xanax, pointing and laughing?

Makes you think, doesn't it?

As an aside, everyone (me included) seems to really enjoy Retro Tuesday. I was thinking about trying to do a daily Retro freaky thing as a separate blog posting. Not sure if it will work or it will be interesting long-term but what does everyone think?


beth 7/21/09, 9:41 AM  

asthmador might be my favorite. these are so funny!

Christa 7/21/09, 9:55 AM  

oh wow the things we have learned since these ads. I really love seeing them though.

Vonlipi 7/21/09, 10:36 AM  

Gimme a case of Asthmador and Zonite!!! (I can't breathe and am full of waste thingies...LOL)

Too funny!

The Laughing Idiot 7/21/09, 1:07 PM  

Ok - you said it all with the first two.

With the asthmador:
Powder Form - do you snort this like cocaine?

Cigarette Form - This is just one step away from a nicotine cigarette. Good thing we've figured out that there isn't a cigarette out there that's going to improve asthma.

Pipe Form - Only old men smoke pipes. At this point, you're so old and decrepid who cares about asthma - you've got enough other health problems.

I'm just saying . . .

The Crazy Suburban Mom 7/21/09, 1:17 PM  

Honestly, these things are all just over the top funny..but ya know after I wrote this I was like, omg they are going to be looking at our ads and thinking the same thing :)

chicamom85 7/21/09, 4:59 PM  

Those are priceless. Thanks for making me laugh. I love the girl walking into Moms bedroom, too funny.


BPOTW 7/26/09, 10:24 PM  

Those are wonderful!! Makes me want to ROFL--seriously!

Anonymous,  8/13/10, 12:59 PM  


just registered and put on my todo list

hopefully this is just what im looking for, looks like i have a lot to read.

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