The Crazy Suburban Mom: Fat Elvis sighting in NJ

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Fat Elvis sighting in NJ

I got on the scale this morning and I am officially all that and a bag of chips.

Or perhaps, all that and a bag of chips, and a Thanksgiving turkey, a Costco multi-pack of cream cheese and chive Captain's wafers, a paddle boat and several middle school-age children.

I haven't been this fat since I asked my obstetrician, Wow! Is the baby going to be big? And he said, No Tracy you're just fat. And I was. My newborn son, all 5 pounds 14 ounces of him, did nothing to alleviate the tonnage I gained during my pregnancy.

In fact, his entry into the world hardly made a dent in me.

And frankly at this point, with him being 18 and all, it's just embarrassing to be my delivery weight.

My delivery weight was embarrassing enough at my delivery.

But back to the story...

Being an early riser, I got up around 3 a.m. and wrote my Tale of two Lobsters post; than started decluttering. The last estate sale I went to convinced me I own too much stuff. It was sad to see that house full (to bursting) with just about everything (in the world) this woman had collected for years and years and for what? So strangers could paw through it? I came home vowing to pare down and 4 this morning seemed good a time as any.

So there I am in the dark, hauling trash bags out to garbage cans, sweating like fat Elvis.

And ya know, it wasn't hot outside at 4 this morning. Fat just sweats. Fat sweats a lot. My brain which was trying to reason with my fat was all like, Hello? It's not hot, would you turn off the freaking spigots already? Fat wasn't having any of it and kept on merrily sweating like I was wearing a jewel encrusted white plether jumpsuit and singing Hunka Hunka Burning Love.

Once in the house I stepped on the scale. A horrifying and difficult thing to do in the early morning hours when don't want to, you know, actually scream.

Two words flashed in my mind. I don't know why I thought of those words but I'm grateful it was those words and not Hostess Twinkies.




Found a meeting and already went.

I'm primed for all sorts of Weight Watchery to enter my life. Calgon, take me away.... Well, I guess it's Weight Watchers take me away...


Or at least take fat Elvis away.

15 Comments:

@eloh 7/8/09, 2:54 PM  

Maybe we should start an invite only blog,

this ole girl could stand to lose an entire prenancy herself. From the back I am one skinny old girl...just don't turn me sideways...I'm sure after the initial gag..the question pops into people's heads...either...isn't she too old or my gawd, who tapped THAT.

Vonlipi 7/8/09, 3:17 PM  

I was born chubby, had a brief stint with skinny from 12 to 24 and ever since then I could be called Miss Expendo! I stopped smoking and lost my job and am trying desesperatly to loose the excess weight but it always finds me!

I'm doing WW on my own and somedays are good and some not so much. I've lost 12 pounds so far

beth 7/8/09, 3:17 PM  

i am a huge fan of weight watchers. good luck!

chicamom85 7/8/09, 4:49 PM  

Good for you, perhaps you will inspire this fat Elvis(me) to join again as well.

Anne

Christa 7/8/09, 5:58 PM  

so I had started trying to loose my baby fat from the twins when you guess it I got pregnant again. So now I'm having to not gain weight....trust me I'm plenty fluffy for me and the baby. Then when this little one is born I will more than likely excersie my brains out, seeing how I'll be breast feeding for atleast 2 years, I'll already be eating healthy. Plus breastfeeding burns a HUGE amount of calories.

Venti Vixen 7/8/09, 6:25 PM  

"Fat just sweats. Fat sweats a lot."

Bwahahahaha! I know this feeling all too well. Hooray for you for joining WW. My kid is 4 now so I have no excuse for not losing the baby weight. Is it still baby weight at this point?

Brooke 7/8/09, 11:27 PM  

Keep us posted on how WW goes for you. I've heard good reports from some friends but I haven't yet made the plunge.

Days of Whine & Noses 7/9/09, 2:11 PM  

thanks for stopping by my blog! I think those lemon blueberry muffins aren't oo bad (point value) to have one!

Vic 7/9/09, 3:46 PM  

I just restarted WW too! (On-line though. I suck at the group thing. Not much of a joiner I guess)

Go Tracy! (and kudos for the de-cluttering too. I try, but my family replaces it so fast it's a losing battle.)

JUST ME, THE MOM 7/10/09, 12:29 AM  

I'm right there with ya! I'm still hanging in there with my own version of South Beach and Weight Watchers. I need the extra protein from South Beach, and have to get OFF the sugar to really make any progress.

Good Luck! Keep us updated!

Kristin

Sandy 7/10/09, 1:17 AM  

good luck, my friend! Hope it goes really well for you! Keep me posted!

marythemom 7/11/09, 1:50 AM  

I gained 70lbs with both my pregnancies and lost it all both times. *yea me!*

About 4 years ago I realized I was almost back up to my pregnancy weight (and my "baby" was 7 years old. *sigh* Went on South Beach and lost almost all of it! *yea me again!*

Kept it off for 2 years, then I adopted 2 teens and gained it all back. *sigh* I've decided this is "baby fat," but now I'm too ancient to lose it all. Oh well, Richard Simmons and I are becoming good buds. He knows I can do it!

I recommend South Beach and aerobics, but don't let your teenagers watch you exercise. Kids can be cruel when you sweat like Fat Elvis!

Good luck,
Mary in TX
Mom to kids ages 10, almost 13, 14 and almost 16

The Crazy Suburban Mom 7/11/09, 6:57 AM  

Seems lots of us are having baby related fat looooong after delivery! Im feeling better :)

tracy

Amy 7/28/09, 2:08 AM  

The Mommy Blogger Carnival is up at http://everydaymamadrama.blogspot.com/2009/07/best-of-mommy-blogger-carnival.html. Thanks for your submission.

Really Rachel 7/28/09, 10:08 AM  

Well done you! You made a start - good luck!

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