The Crazy Suburban Mom: The First Crazy Suburban Mom FAQ

Friday, June 5, 2009

The First Crazy Suburban Mom FAQ


1. What were you like in high school?

Remarkably similar to how I am now except my friends were way more unsavory. Now I mostly hang with moms. Than I was most likely to be found with whoever had a brother who had just gotten out on a weapons charge.

2. Did you ever think of doing stand-up comedy?

No, because that would involve actual, you know, standing.

3. Do you really like to cook?

I do. The problem is I like to cook different things all the time. It's hard on my family. I can tell when they really, really like something because they will look at me sadly and say, "We're never going to have this again, are we?" That's when I know I have a winner.

4. How much do you weigh?


5. Did you tell your son about the birds and the bees?

I did, a few years ago. I sat him down and asked him if he knew about sex. He said he did.

So I moved on to my real point. I asked him if he had any idea how much child support he would have to pay if he had sex with a girl and became a father?

Now that he wasn't expecting. And as a 14 year old with no job who spent all of his disposable income on video games and french fries?


We looked up the statistics which were at the time - I remember it well, although probably not as well as he remembers it - $187,408 to raise a child to 18 years of age.

I asked him if he knew anyone who he would want to spend a few minutes with if it would cost him $867.63... two-hundred and sixteen times? He couldn't think of anyone so I offered...

Pam Anderson?

He asked me if I was crazy. No one was worth that...

My job was done, although I have a sneaking suspicion I scarred him for life.

*** Don't miss the depression glass fridge dish giveaway here***


jewelryandgiftsbyrebecca 6/4/09, 8:27 AM  

I love your answer to #5 That is classic!

Mommy24cs 6/4/09, 9:54 AM  

LOL at #5. I think I will use your statistics with my 14 year old who has suddenly become popular with the girls in his class. He's had two girls ask him out this past week! Yeah they asked him, is that not the weirdest thing??

Christa 6/4/09, 10:33 AM  

I am keeping that one in my back pocket for when I have a son...the amount will have increased drastically by then!

beth 6/4/09, 11:54 AM  

awesome. i hope that, i too, am able to scar my sons for life like that someday.

Anonymous,  6/4/09, 12:51 PM  


Mom's Fortress of Solitude 6/4/09, 1:09 PM  

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chicamom85 6/4/09, 1:29 PM  

Good talk Mom lol. Too funny.


TheClayMuse 6/4/09, 1:54 PM  

oh classic.... okay, i'll stop laughing soon, i think :P

@eloh 6/4/09, 2:29 PM  

Good Lord that's the best advice....I have to go talk to my son....hope it isn't too late.

Venti Vixen 6/4/09, 2:30 PM  

That's the best parenting advice I've been given to date....

Digital Scraps Etc 6/4/09, 7:29 PM  

Perfect! I love it!!

Sue 6/4/09, 10:19 PM  

Stopping by from Harriet's Comment Challenge. My son will be 13 next month, maybe I should take your advice and give him that same speech!

Lola 6/5/09, 12:56 AM  

Great blog!

I've given you the "One Lovely Blog Award". Please stop by and check it out.

tracy 6/5/09, 3:41 AM  

Wow you guys! I'm flabbergasted! Had I known #5 would be such a hit I would have bagged the others and written a whole post about #5... although that was pretty much all there is... but still.


Equidae 6/5/09, 6:06 AM  

great answer hope ill remember it when the time comes lol

Swoozie 6/5/09, 9:45 AM  

Now that's some great advice you gave to your son.......I'll have to remember that one! LOL!

Debbie 6/5/09, 9:47 AM  

I could learn so much from you! This was hysterical and very original. Loved it.

Anonymous,  6/5/09, 10:56 AM  

Very interesting approach ... I have 2 grown sons, so a bit late for me.

Thanks for your nice comments when you visited my blog, I appreciate it.

Days of Whine & Noses 6/5/09, 12:05 PM  

OMG! That is hyterical! The thing about talking to your son about sex makes me alost want to go and have a boy just so I can do that to my son! (I know I have a sick sense of humor sometimes).

I have a 14 year old and a 3 year old (both girls....not even God can help me)

Mommyof2girlz 6/5/09, 12:06 PM  

You rock girl, and yes #5 is fantastic! Guess I will let you roll it up in a tortilla and not give your grief about it

Vickie 6/5/09, 1:32 PM  

Unfortunately I have three girls. So your fantastic scare tactic probably will not work. But, My oldest who is 8 knows that child birth hurts and that you are not able to go to sleep. She has already told me she is not having any kids. She can keep that thought until she is married:)

Now I have to work on the other two.

tracy 6/6/09, 5:11 AM  

You guys are the best :) Thanks for all the comments on this one! Its always such a nice surprise!


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