The Crazy Suburban Mom: The weirdest week. Ever.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The weirdest week. Ever.

It's been the weirdest week. Ever.

1. The day after I tell my son not to cook bacon at night because I'm afraid he will set the kitchen on fire the state of New Jersey gives him a license to drive a 2000 pound weapon of mass destruction.

2. When you are first dating someone and run through all the possible scenarios of what your future together will be like?

Feast, famine, richer, poorer... the good, the bad and the ugly...

The delivery of durable medical equipment?

Never occurred to me.

At 8 o'clock last night when they backed a truck up to my house and delivered this...

Freaked me right out.

It's in my master bathroom over the toilet. I'll be using the boy's bathroom for a while (Something I never do. Something no one ever does)

3. I've handled the stress of the week remarkably well. I ate like a pig; it helped a lot. Tuesday I ravaged the hospital cafeteria eating mass quantities of something called fried broccoli, cheese, and bacon fritters... Along with bags of chips, cans of ice tea, turkey with roasted red peppers and mayo sandwiches (on olive rolls)....and tootsie pops.

On Monday I celebrated Memorial Day by using my new grill for the first time. It's been raining since I got it in March. I felt the need to consume enough hot dogs to make up for the last 2 months. So I ate 3 (with sauerkraut, relish, mustard, onions and ketchup) along with grilled corn on the cob (butter, salt and pepper).

On Sunday my dad took 10 people out for his 82nd birthday. Brunch. I used it as an excuse to work on my anxiety. Sashayed up to the brunch buffet like a hungry hefer at a trough. (I'm assuming hefers eat at troughs - being from NJ I don't have much experience with hefers. Hungry or otherwise.) So. Several Eggs Benedict, followed by bagels covered with cream cheese and my weight in lox, sausage and one piece of bacon (everything in moderation, right?)

For dinner we got take-out. I ate Chinese food. Subgum Wonton soup and Chicken with Chinese Veggies. Maybe a spare rib or two. I don't even remember anymore because my brain is swimming in a sodium haze.

Don't know why I bothered with all this food. I should have just bought a salt lick and saved myself the calories.

The result of all this?

The combination of my 3 day salt fest and being on my feet much of Tuesday caused my ankles to swell up like 2 giant sequoias. Lest you think I'm kidding, here's a picture of my ankles.

I know you think those are giant redwoods but those are my legs.

4. And I'm stumped with a painting. I need some help. But first the background...

I'm going to my eye doctor in a few hours to schedule the first of two laser surgeries. Hopefully the last of the eye surgeries (you can read about the others here). I don't like them working on my eyes. It makes me nervous. There is so much to lose.

I've been working on some paintings related to my eye sight. I'm toying with calling them the Firefly series and I need some help with them. This is the first one that is done (maybe). It's a background of night-sky blue and black with flecks of gold leaf.

Here is the smaller of the two and its about 9 inches by 9 inches (the other one is 2 feet x 2 feet). It's hard to show the gold leaf but it's the light areas. There is a lot of dark in the paintings but as I said in my last post about my eyes - losing my eye sight brought me more than I lost.

I'd like the paintings to feel positive. And I've been looking at it a few days and I don't know if it has enough twinkles of gold to feel sparklingly positive.

I know the light areas don't twinkle in the image but try and pretend they do ... gold leaf is very sparkly.


Do you think I need more? More sparkly gold fire flies? Leaping around in the night sky?


******* UPDATE*******

I'm back from the doctor and I'm scheduled for my first laser surgery on June 8th. This one will be on the left eye. He said I would see " a lot better" because the "residual haziness" is right in the center.

Oh. And I added one more meal to that salt fest a few paragraphs up. In the car I remembered one more meal. Don't know how I could have forgotten that one.... It was egregious. Probably and attempt at self-preservation.


TheClayMuse 5/28/09, 8:39 AM  

oh I'm the same way with the "is it really done" then I usually overdo it.. I think it looks great, and I can picture the sparkly fireflies! I think it looks great as is, but if you insist on adding more, I'd only go for a fleck or tow, in the center...
good luck with the son and his DL, hope the mister gets well soon!
And good luck to you at your dr. apt. :P

@eloh 5/28/09, 9:13 AM  

I'm NOT an artist, so I don't know squat.

I enlarged the paintings then went about a couple chores, sat and had coffee with it and in general, waited for "it" to speak.

It makes me feel like I'm trapped - forced to look through a web of darkness to see the night sky.

I realize that I am not answering your question or helping one bit. But, I really like your paintings and I have some form of tourettes or some such malady and ...

Jeve (aka John and Steve) 5/28/09, 10:29 AM  

Good luck with your dr. appt!

BTW- I voted for your blog through Underdogs Unite (Jasahab). If you get a chance please vote for me too. We are in 4 categories and here is a link to one of them.

Thanks so much!

Jeve (aka John and Steve)

Vonlipi 5/28/09, 11:40 AM  

Your legs remind me of my fingers most mornings (even if I don't have a salt fest).

Your new bathroom accessory would freak me out too. But if it's forever (with your partner) you'll get over it. Mine is living with mental illness, I got over it!

I don't feel your painting needs more fireflies. It looked just perfect to me.

As for your kid...I find you have a lot of courage, because I can't stand picky eaters . They drive me bonkers!!!Growing up, my mother tortured (figure of speech) the pickiness out of me...

Anita 5/28/09, 4:32 PM  

What a week! The new bathroom accessory........permanent or not?
Teen drivers...........I'll be there oh so soon. In FL you can drive at 16, which is Aug 12 for my twin girls.........brace me, and they are fearless and can't wait.

Good luck on lowering your sodium, your legs may get back to their typical size soon!

tracy 5/28/09, 5:14 PM  

Clay Muse - Thats such a pain isnt it??? When to stop...and if you don't will you wreck it???? ugh

eloh - I think it needs more gold leaf. Its too dark and I think thats what you're picking up on.. and it isnt about being an artist.... its about the emotional reaction... and thank you.

Jeve- did it for you, in a few categories! Rock on with your daddy selves!

Vonlipi - yes, its forever :) its already been over 20 years... as to ' the picky one'... lol.. whatcha gonna do? lol...

anita - NO! OMG not permanent. geeze, now I'm broken out into a sweat...

The Laughing Idiot 5/29/09, 12:25 AM  

I can't imagine that in my bathroom! It's hardly big enough for the two of us to use it. The girls' bathroom is larger.

Hmmm, sharing my bathroom with girls. Not a bad option. If this happened to me, it looks like Hubby would be relegated to the "Princess Potty".

Mom Mayhem says: 5/29/09, 3:19 PM  

Yikes! On the new potty-Glad it's not permanent. Is that in your comfy-spy on the neighbor's bathroom? ;) Yikes! on the food/ankles and your son driving too!
On another note -Not that I'm the best artist but, I think a few more fireflies would be good. I LOVE that painting BTW! Hope you'll have a better week next week!

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